She's Broken

Chapter 25

Chapter 25 (Not proofread, as usual, so please ignore any mistakes, I will correct them in my final edit. Thanks!)

                ‘The court room was quiet when Finn got to his feet and was escorted to the stand, his face hidden by the shadows of his hair. The shadows under his eyes. The shadows in the contours of his face. He was a walking nightmare, something that even children would be scared of. My heart was probably the only one thumping. It was the first time I’d seen him since I told Mum what he’d done to me. I’d seen pictures but seeing him in person, seeing his moving chest with his breaths, his easy going walk made me want to run away, apologise for being so stupid and hide away in my bedroom again.

 

                I didn’t listen as he swore to the truth, put his hand on the bible and recited the words that I’d only ever heard on the TV. What if they believed him? Fell for his pretty, innocent face like everyone else did. What if I had to go back to it and nobody could ever help me?

 

                “Not guilty,” Finn pleaded without a second of hesitation, meeting my eyes with a coldness that stopped my heart in its erratic state.

 

                Jenna’s father was standing in front of my brother, grilling him with a certainness that I knew would be aimed at me when his lawyer had a go.

 

                “It wasn’t rape,” he insisted. “She wanted it, she loves me. She’s just scared about what we have,” Finn said, not once admitting that he hurt me, that the bruises and forced entry were pretend and my pretend story.

 

                “Did you, or did you not force yourself upon Miss Kathryn Price without permission?” Jenna’s dad asked again, his voice getting impatient.

 

                “She wanted it, she asked for it. She even said please,” Finn announced, curling his thin lips into a coy smile. I shuddered, fiddling with my shaking fingers.

 

                When it was my turn to stand up in front of everyone, I almost cracked. My legs were seconds away from giving way underneath me and every step closer to the front of the crowd felt like a mile.

 

                “Twice,” I answered to the lawyer’s question.

 

                “No, I didn’t want it. I’m not lying to you.” I was lying. I lied about how many times it happened. I lied about my feelings and I lied about Steven. The words were sour, yelling at me to take them back, tell the truth and put an end to it. Finn’s smug smile shut me up, staring me in the face from across the court room with a certain arrogance. He knew he wasn’t going away for as long as he should do and he knew that I would never crack. Even when he went to prison I’d end up being his puppet. It was the only thing we both silently knew.

 

                “I had a good life, there was no need for me to cry out for attention. Especially not like this. The medical reports prove that there was a forced entry, I am not lying to you.” My final answer was accompanied by a single tear, wiping away the lies as I took my place next to my mother again.