Love Like This

chapitre onze

try·ing
/ˈtrīiNG/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
difficult or annoying; hard to endure.
"it had been a very trying day"
synonyms:    stressful, difficult, taxing, demanding, tough, hard, heavy

♥

{Harry's P.O.V}

I felt the sun shine brightly through my eye lids, and I winced at the brightness as I opened my eyes. I glanced to my side and I found the Alpha, sleeping soundly. I sighed in disappointment, of what, I'm not too sure about. I don't know if I'm disappointed in myself for allowing Louis to be here with me, or if I'm disappointed that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the ways he made me feel. I felt so loved and appreciated, and I really wanted to think that it was all real but every time I would feel these things and hear his words of kindness I couldn't help but remember that night. The one night he owed to me as an Omega of this pack, he was out galavanting with some other person. And that rejection stung me way too hard for me to forget, and every time I let myself fall into his love and kindness, even just for a second, I feel the slap of rejection soon after. The tears were stinging my eyes now as they have yet to release themselves, I let out a choked sob and stood quickly, rushing to my bathroom. I closed the door quickly and rather loudly, and I cursed myself the minute I realized I did so. "God I hope he's not awake" I muttered to myself as I sat on the toilet, all the thoughts running through my mind of the past few days. I'm not as mad as I would've been with myself if I had let him take me, if he would've taken my innocence I don't think I would've ever forgiven myself and him. Not that I would blame him, it just would've been hard to look at him the same way. A sound soon broke me from my thoughts as I sobbed quietly into my hand, "Harry?" I heard Louis groan. This caused me to let out an ugly cry and sob viciously into my hand. Shut up! I scolded myself, but it held no avail. "Harry?" Louis sounded panicked now, and I heard his footsteps rush to the door. I sighed and wiped the tears but they still kept coming, I was still hurting because of what he did to me, what I let him do to me. I felt stupid for falling so deep into his games, falling so deep into him. I wanted to win his heart but I wasn't even on the playing field! He would've never given me a single glance if it weren't for this arranged marriage. I felt my Omega howl in pain and rejection and I whined loudly in my throat. These thoughts consumed me and I felt worthless, and as I shook vehemently and sobbed loudly I heard Louis' wolf howl with panic and shame. He growled "open the door!", I felt myself loose sense and started muttering incoherent words "n-no! N-not good enough! Sto-p" I choked out and sobbed into my knees more as I sat in a fetal position. "Harry, please open the door" he said pained but I didn't care, I was hurting because of him and because I let him. I didn't trust him anymore, and that hurt because I was so drawn to him. I almost thought me were mates. But Goddess! How stupid am I?! "Louis, please go away" I found my voice, and I didn't stutter. I heard him sigh in frustration "no harry, you sound like you were having a panic attack! You are not okay! And-and..." he trailed off and I faintly heard sniffling but I could be crazy. But he never finished and soon I heard footsteps retreating from the door and cried harder now because that was the sign that he truly didn't care. I know I asked him to leave me but I didn't know if I meant it. So as exhaustion filled my body I closed my eyes and drifted out.

•••

I felt someone lightly shaking me, my eyes shot open and I glanced at the familiar figure, Niall. I let my tears flow again as he hugged me, and I noticed my surrounding, I was back on my bed. "Awww Harry! Stop crying! You're gonna make me cry" he said with a watery laugh, I giggled too but lightly. I pulled back from our embrace and looked at Niall. "Why doesn't he want me?" I asked lightly and Niall sighed. "I don't know..." he said quietly and I nodded lightly, I felt so drained from all of this crying. "It's so stupid too!" I laughed bitterly, "I've only known the man less than a week!". Niall looked at me sadly, "but that doesn't mean that you're stupid, Harry. You fell into him, he has that effect" Niall said but quickly stopped. I raised an eyebrow at the Omega, "what do you mean he has that effect?" I questioned. Niall tensed, "I mean he is an Alpha, and Alpha that you are to be wed and he is a good looking Alpha. He is smart and admirable, he is a good pack leader and any Omega would be at his feet if they were in your position" Niall said. I nodded but I still felt he wasn't telling me everything, "Niall I want to be alone" I said finally. I was so tired of being lied to by everyone, "B-but Harry-" I cut him off with another bitter laugh, "no for some fucking reason everyone feels the need to fuck me over! but it's fine Niall, I am fine" I said with a sadist smile. He glanced at me wearily "Harry it's not-" I cut him off again "Niall I asked to be alone right now and I suggest you do as I say as your future queen" I said eyeing him, daring him to challenge my words. He nodded solemnly and left my to my thoughts. I sighed and rubbed my temples, "I just want to be accepted" I said to the moon, I felt my heart clench with despair as I rested my head against my headboard. "Maybe, one day, I will be" I said sadly to the Moon Goddess hoping, praying she heard me.

♥

End of Chapitre Onze
Word Count: 1069
Written By: AlexisCook820
Published On: July 25, 2019

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Okayyy soooo yeah! This was sad😂but needed, and this is part 1 of my promise and I plan to publish part 2 of my promise annnnddd publish my regular chapters on the weekend! I hope y'all enjoyed and Happy 9 Years of One Direction!!!!! I know it was two days ago but I didn't publish two days ago so this is my kinda late way of saying it😂! Love you all and wish you all an amazing Thursday!!!!!!!