Obsessed (A. Irwin Smut FF)

Chapter 31

No one prepares you. They all say it's going to be hard but no one prepares you for losing someone in your life.

I take a deep breath trying to calm down while Ashton is still holding me close to his chest. I look up in his eyes and they are glowing with tears too. He traces his thumbs under my eyes wiping my tears away. He stares back into my eyes and sighs.
I know you want it too, but you can't. You love Natalie. You are a man of your word.

He pulls me close again and as I am calmed down I let his scent invade my nostrils. Fuck you Irwin. I feel his kiss on my head and I want to drown in his hug.
"I should go... check on my patient." He whispers and I nod still holding him.
I look up and he looks down to me with glowing eyes. He places his lips on my forehead while cupping my face with his hands.
"I'm here if you need me." He says getting out. I take a deep breath and stare at the wall. I am fine.

It's overwhelming. The feeling of suffocating with flashbacks from the past is overwhelming. They all say you should not live in the past, but what I am supposed to do while the past comes knocking on my door? Am I supposed to ignore it? Am I supposed to act like it's not here, invading my present?
Perhaps I should not let anyone see this affects me, this way I am giving myself more time to process this without anyone interrupting or meddling.

I tried to push the thoughts deep down where they couldn't escape but it didn't work. I am working in the hospital and I pass by the room I was staying when I was a patient here. I see him every day walking the same hallways I do.
I am stepping in the elevator ready to go change my clothes and go home. I am so tired as i just finished my night shift.
I press to go up but just before the doors close Ashton stops them and gets in. They came together. I smile at Natalie as no one could ever hate her.
"Good morning." I sense some tension as she eyes me from head to toe.
"Morning Dr Hood." She says and I frown my brows. I am behind them and Ashton turns to face me for a second just enough to mouth to him 'Dr Hood?'. She calls me Y/n. What happened? Ashton rolls his eyes.
"Nat come on, I said I was sorry." He speaks and she doesn't say anything. "Oh so you're not speaking to me anymore?" He asks and she gives him a death stare.
"Now is not the time." Natalie says and I can feel her anger. She steps down of the elevator and I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.
"You guys ok?" I ask him and he shrugs.
"Yeah. She's just overreacting." He tells me and I nod.
"Are you ok?" I ask and he nods.
"Yeah, are you?" He asks me and I smile. "Good." He says and I wish him a good day as I step out of the elevator.

I drive home and text Hayden and Michael to meet me later tonight. They will get married next week so we decided to go out just like we used to do when we were in college only this time we picked a bar because we are too tired to dance in a club.

"How are the wedding preparations going?" I ask the two of them after getting to the bar. I feel much more relaxed now. I finally got to sleep a few hours and spend time with mom too.

"I honestly didn't think it would be such a nightmare. I love planning things, but I swear to God, it has been a nightmare." Hayden tells and Michael laughs wrapping his arm around her shoulder. His eyes smile as he looks at her and I can see Hayd calming down.

"Speaking of the wedding. I would like to invite Irwin at the wedding, but I wanted to check with you first." Michael tells me and I sigh shrugging.

"It's your wedding, you can invite whoever you want. I am okay with you guys having Ashton there." I smile looking at the both of them and Hayden tilts her head.

"Yeah but he probably won't come alone." She tells me concerned I might feel betrayed by Natalie showing up.

"Seriously guys, I accepted the idea of everyone moving on. I see them everyday in the hospital, I would not have a problem seeing them at your wedding. Now, let's have shots. I missed you." I reassure them changing the subject.