Dear Camila (Camila/you)

Chapter 22

Camila POV

It's been two days since Nick had called me and told me the news.

I hadn't left my bed since then, only to go to the bathroom but I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept, I hadn't showered and I hadn't talked to anyone.

I didn't want to.

Only person I wanted to talk to was Y/N.

But I couldn't.

She was gone.

I kept my phone on loud and charged just in case.

And nearly every hour I would ring her voicemail just to hear her voice.

I needed to hear it now

I picked up my mobile and entered my call list, there it was staring at me the number of calls I had made to her phone in the last two days. It was in the hundreds. I pressed the button it rung once then cut off and then I heard it, her voice, it made my plain white face break out into a small sad smile at hearing it.

"Hey this is Y/N Y/L/N I am currently busy and I am sorry I can't take your call, please leave a message and I will get back to you, oh and if this is my beautiful fiancé ringing me, I love you and miss you and will speak to you soon"

She hadn't changed her answer message after what I did.

It was still there, her telling me she loved me and missed me.

I just wanted the ability to tell her that.

But I would never be able to.

I pressed the end button and let the phone fall back onto the bed as I began to cry.

I wondered how I had any tears left in me after these last few days.  I gave out a huge sob and couldn't control the heartwrenching tears that left my body.

I missed her.

I needed her.

This was my fault.

Suddenly my door opened and in walked Thunder, he jumped up on the bed and nuzzled in close to me. He sniffed the tags that were around my neck. I hadn't taken them off since I had received them through the mail and he gave a small cry before cuddling into me further.

Clearly he missed Y/N too, or he sensed she was gone.

I softly stroked his head as I held him close. Clutched in my other hand was Y/N's letter, it had already become tatty and worn and parts of it damp from my tears. I couldn't put it down, but I hadn't read it yet, I couldn't.

I had my mom take a photograph of it on my phone, and a photocopy for good measure. Just in case it disappeared, but I wasn't ready for what the letter held.

Was she calling me an evil bitch for what I had done to her?

Was she telling me she never wanted to hear from me again and to stop writing?

Part of me didn't want to know, but part of me decided it was time.

I flipped onto my back and Thunder placed his head on my chest.

I began to unfold the letter with a shaky breath, my head felt dizzy like I was going to pass out.

But I had to do this, it was time.

I stared at the paper in front of it, my eyes glancing over the written lines and metally taking a picture.

Y/N had used a black pen, she only used black pens she was O.C.D like that.