take a picture of all my flaws

18

Lauren

"I just- I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Lauren paces by the pool, aware that she could probably slip and hurt herself, but she doesn't really care. "I haven't done anything, but I feel like I have to. My PR team got the articles down, but it's not like that hasn't stopped ten more from popping up."

"Well, what about Camila?" Alexa asks from her deck chair. She'd slept over last night, and Lauren pretty much won't let her leave. "Is it- like, have any of the articles named her?"

"No, no, she's not- from the only picture they have, she's not recognisable, and if any fans have drawn any connections between us, no media outlet has picked up on it," Lauren brushes that off, and she's thankful for that much, "I haven't really spoken to her for the last couple of days."

"Why not?" Alexa questions her. "She's your girlfriend, if anyone is going to help you through this, it's her."

"I'm just- I'm worried. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and if people see us together right after I get fucking outed, then they'll make the connection. And I don't know if she's ready to be in the public eye." Lauren rambles on, but it's partially an excuse. "And I don't know if it's a good idea if I- I mean, if I'm not ready to be out, maybe I should just- you know, I really don't want to, but maybe it would be best if I-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Alexa warns her, and Lauren blinks in surprise, "you care about her a lot, I can tell that much. And from all of our FaceTime conversations, when you're talking about her, you're so happy. Breaking up with her would just make you even more miserable."

"Then- then what am I supposed to do?" Lauren lets out a growl of frustration and sits down on the deck chair next to Alexa, taking a sip of her water. "What do you think?"

"Well, you have two options." Alexa shrugs, "You could either hide away from it all until it dies down, and then just act like it never happened. Or you could own it. Take your power back. Forget that you were outed, and come out yourself. You told me you were going to."

"I was- I was getting ready to." Lauren quickly corrects her. "I wanted to do it by the end of the year, but... then this happened."

"Then don't let the jerks in the media take that away from you." Alexa grabs her hand and squeezes it, and Lauren considers her best friend's advice. In reality, it's the best course of action, and it's not like she'll feel any more anxious than she already does about it. "At the end of the day, it's your sexuality and your truth, and you don't owe anybody an explanation. But if you were already going to come out..."

"Then I should just do it?" Lauren asks, and Alexa nods in reply. She frowns, biting down on her bottom lip, and picking up her phone. She hasn't spoken to Camila since that phone call, when her girlfriend had told her what happened as Lauren was collecting her bags at the airport.

She'd hung up the phone, locked herself in a bathroom stall and had a panic attack, and then ran out through the arrivals gate, past the crowd of fans who were waiting for pictures, and straight into her dad's arms. She'd cried into his shoulder as the fans who couldn't take a hint took pictures of her having a breakdown; she did note some of them holding the others back, blocking their cameras and telling them to leave her alone, which she appreciated and she managed to choke out a small thank you to them. She let her dad lead her to the car, where she'd proceeded to sob her heart out all the way home.

Then, she'd composed herself slightly, and called her PR team to see what they were doing to get the articles down, and for advice about what she should do. They'd gotten the articles down, and told her that she should keep a low profile for now.