Eddie found himself overlooking the quarry. If he knew how to swim, he definitely would've jumped. It was a hot day, and he really wanted to cool off, both physically and mentally. He shouldn't have yelled at Stan and Bill; they were just trying to help.
"Fuck," Eddie whispered, flopping backward onto the dry grass and looking up at the sky. He had to squint because of the sun, but he could still see the bright blue, a gentle color that made him feel less tense.
He laid there for what felt like hours, trying to muster up the courage to return to Bill's house. God, Richie was going to be pissed. He'd probably be mad that Eddie yelled at his best friends and then taking off without bringing someone with him. They had managed to escape the Bowers gang, but what if they came after Eddie? Richie would be pissed.
Eddie didn't know what to do. He didn't want to face the other losers being mad at him, but he didn't want to be alone either.
Not long after his mental debate, Eddie found himself walking toward the counseling building he had been in a day before. Autumn had told him she was always available to talk, since most people in Derry don't go to any form of counseling or therapy.
Eddie walked inside and approached the lady sitting at the reception desk.
"How can I help you?" she asked, her eyes on her computer.
"I, uh, I don't have an appointment, but, uh, my name is Eddie Kaspbrack and Autumn said I could see her whenever I need to talk?"
It came out as a question, but the lady simply nodded and told Eddie to take a seat. She called Autumn, who invited Eddie into her office seconds later.
"I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, Eddie," she said, sitting in her seat and look at Eddie with a confused expression.
"I, uh, I didn't know where else to go," Eddie said quietly, his arms crossed over his stomach. He was still wearing Richie's sweatshirt and sweats, but the smell did little to comfort Eddie.
"What happened?"
Eddie tearfully explained the events of the previous night, as well as how he lashed out at Bill and Stan earlier that morning. He then went to tell her about his fears that Richie would be mad at him for taking off. When he finished his worried rant, he was surprised to see Autumn smiling proudly at him.
"Why are you smiling?" he asked, not sure if Autumn understood the situation.
"I know you're worried about how Richie's going to react, but I want to focus on how you yelled at Bill and Stan. It's never fun to yell at people who care about you, but you're standing up for yourself."
Eddie shook his head. "No, that's not the point. I shouldn't have yelled at them. They were trying to help me."
"I get that, but you didn't want their help. You wanted to be outside and wanted to think through this trauma yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself, and while you shouldn't have yelled at them, you made it clear that you didn't want to be taken care of in that moment. This is a form of personal growth, Eddie."
Eddie fell silent at that. He did feel bad, but he did want space from his friends. "So it's not a bad thing that I screamed at them?"
"It's not how you should always handle the situation, but it was how you put up boundaries. Next time you should stay calm and tell them you want some time to yourself, but you were showing them you needed space. Does that make sense?"
Eddie nodded before standing up. "Thanks, Autumn. I think I need to go back to my friends."
Autumn smiled and walked him out to the lobby area. "Are you safe to walk home?"
