Snow Angels (Larry Stylinson)✔️

39

Harry

The tour bus is rolling to our next stop, I haven't even bothered to listen where we are going. These last couple of days have just been me sitting waiting to go on stage to later go back to my bed.

I don't have energy enough to do more than put on a good show... or more like an okay show. I know I have disappointed a lot of people by just giving them some half decent shit every night. But I just can't do more.

It's not like I want to make my fans sad, I don't want to be the one that makes them feel like they just wasted their money on a shit show.

But ever since things between me and Louis ended I just haven't been able to do anything with the same feeling as before. I just want to stop.

I know it's probably just my broken heart talking but honestly what is the fame and glory worth when you don't have anyone to share it with. I thought what I felt with Amber was heartbreak, that seems like a joke now... it's not even close to the feeling that I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'm breaking every time I hear his name.

Every time something even as much as reminds me of him I feel like my heart is being shattered in to a million pieces all over again.

The music is playing from my headphones and I just sit in the sofa feeling pity for myself.

"You need to stop listening to that depressing country song you know." I try to ignore the words that Liam is saying, he isn't having any of it.

Instead of leaving me alone he just takes the phone from me and pulls out my headphones.

"I wasn't even listening to it." I try to convince him... I know he doesn't believe me.

"Oh so you mean if I play the song that's on right now it won't be what hurts the most with Rascal Flatts?"

"Yeah..." Lies.

He plays the song and it starts playing from my phones speakers.

"Total coincident." I say and my words makes Niall who is sitting on the other sofa break down in a fit of laughter.

"Of course it's just a coincident that the song you have been having on repeat these last couple of days just happens to be the one that comes on now." He is laughing so hard at his own words, honestly I don't even understand how he can find that so funny.

Maybe he doesn't.

Maybe it's just the absurdity of the situation... That I'm searching comfort in an old country song that defiantly isn't close to what I usually listen to.

"You need to delete that song from your library, you need to find some music that will make you feel better." Liam says looking through my playlist. I know there is a lot of sad songs in there.

"Are you seriously having here comes goodbye by them too in this playlist? This is the saddest playlist I've seen. You need some music that makes you feel good, the music that will cheer you up." Liam says.

"Somebody you loved, Happier, The night we met, when the party's over... This list just goes on and on Harry. You need to stop doing this to yourself." I hate him. I hate that Liam always knows what's best. I just for once want to drown in my sadness.

I just want them to leave me here on the bottom where I can't find my way back from. Can't they just let me be?

I don't want to be happy...

That's the thing with getting your heart broken, it doesn't matter how much you want to be yourself again.

No you don't want to be completely okay, because if you're okay then you can start moving over... and when you can move on that is when it's really over.

Then you don't have anything of them left, not even the pain they left when you parted.

Both Liam and Niall keeps scrolling through my playlist, watching... complaining about the song I have in my playlist.

The thing about pain is that you have to feel it before you can let it go.

A broken heart won't heal without you feeling every single broken piece first. That's how you slowly stitch it back together.

The bus suddenly comes to a stop, apparently we're here.

I step out of the bus and look around. I can't even tell where I am. Every single place always look the same, the big venue and all the people that's early there to catch at least a little glimpse of me.

I remember when it was only like two or three people waiting outside, I was so excited back then... to me that meant I had made it...

Now there is at least a hundred of screaming girls wherever I go.

That's why I can't blame Louis. I don't blame him for not being able to be a part of this... I don't think I could either if it would be the other way around.

He wasn't eased in to it like I was, no it all just happened over night. There is just so much one can handle before it starts to cause problems.

"Harry!!" The girls scream my name over and over again and I know they want me to walk over to them... but I can't.

I made that mistake the other night, I gave in to my fans and they started asking questions about Louis... questions that made our last conversation go on repeat inside of my head.

It just hurts too much.