yeet! [misc.]

[misc] | update on my life :'-)

update on my life :'-)

WARNING: I'm going to be really whiny... But what's new about that?!?!?!?

So, incase you guys are wondering; I'm still alive.

But in the way zombies are alive. ;D

If y'all didn't know this from before, for the first half of my summer (early May to early July), I was taking spring courses in university (I failed one of my first year courses, and I fast-tracked a Year 2 course).  And, even though I did swell on both (literally went from 0 to 100 in that course I failed), I still kind of feel like melted ice-cream....

My summer is a month away from finishing (I spent the past month doing chores, and sitting at home), and I just feel so demotivated about everything . I'm so not looking forward to going back to university, and entering my second year of engineering,,,,

My mom and two sisters are going to Europe because of work and school, and that means that I'll be stuck alone with my dad who literally does nothing (and I mean N O T H I N G, he doesn't even pick up his dinner plate), and who doesn't even like me even a little (he said so)..... And I don't know how I'm going to manage taking care of the house, my dad constantly deprecating me, my school work (I barely passed last year lmaooooooo), as well as commuting to and from school everyday for 2 hours back and forth.  

I just want to scream, or cry, or punch a wall,,,,,,,

Instead, I eat my feelings away. :)

I'm just,,,,,,,,

I'm so fucking D O N E.

AND I STILL HAVE 4 MORE YEARS OF SCHOOL TO GO.

I go to school in Toronto and it's just so boring.

I don't know how to deal with my dad.

My grades are bullshit. And I'm so fucking anxious, sad, and mad ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

I hate having to commute a total of 4 hours each day.

Doug Ford is a ************* ***** because he doesn't care about students, and he cut financial aid in half. Oh, and no one is hiring me.

I know that I probably need a therapist, but I don't have the time to go, and my entire family will look at me like I'm the black sheep. So yeah, that's out of the question.

I really want to travel, and get out of this country but that's impossible until my next winter break.

I really want to write my books but I just can't. Everything I write sounds like crap and I have no motivation to finish a chapter.... Like all of the ideas I have sound great until I actually write them...

If you have any idea about what I should do, please help a girl. 

I'm sorry about this guys, but I just had to get it out. I'm probably removing this chapter later anyways.