The hobbit/LOTR x reader

Thorin - Shadow monsters

The others were happily chatting by the fire while eating, but you couldn't enjoy such comfort. You sat with them, though you weren't focused on them, or were to busy trying to block the thoughts in your head, unaware of a few glancing at you in worry.

You can't run

Shaking your head you tried to ignore the prying voice in your head. You knew exactly what it was, you knew exactly what it wanted. You were doing so well with ignoring it at first but now it was getting to much.

Your people called them Shadow monsters, they were part of you since birth, encouraging you to do horrible things. They were the evil spirits in you. Some people gave in, others ignored them, some fought them and only a handful won. If you lost the fight between your shadow monster it took over your body, turning you into a heartless being damned for eternity.

Gandalf saw your struggle and walked over, kneeling in front of you he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"You have to fight it my dear, there is no other way."
"I.. I can't..." you whispered.
"You can, believe in yourself."

Tears clouded your eyes and you looked up at Gandalf, only then did you notice that it had gone silent.

"I... I'm not strong enough.. Gandalf I... I can't do it.."
"I know you can do it, your parents did. You're strong (Y/N), believe in yourself."

Bringing your hand up to your head you cried silently. Gandalf sighed and walked away, grabbing your sword he placed it in front of you.

"Believe..." he whispered.

With that he walked away, by now everyone was watching you.

"(Y/N)?" Bilbo asked worried.

You shook your head and stood up, clutching the roots of your hair as you squeezed your eyes shut.

I'll win... you're weak!

"Shut up..." you muttered.

The others looked around confused.

Pathetic. You'll never be anything! Look at you! You can't save them!

"SHUT UP!"

Grabbing your sword you unsheathed it and growled.

"Fight me!"
"Gladly!" A dark voice spat.

In the shadows a figure took form. Looking excited like you but with a wicked grin and red eyes. The others picked up their weapons but Gandalf stopped them.

"You can't fight this, (Y/N) has to defeat this herself."
"What is that?" Fili whispered.
"Shadow monster..." Thorin muttered.

You glared at yourself, it glared back at you.

"Let me I, together we can protect them~"
"No. I wouldn't trust a word out of your mouth." You spat.
"You wouldn't trust yourself~?"
"Not when I know it's as twisted as you."
"Oh but don't you see? You are twisted, all those thoughts in your head! You'll never amount to anything! You're weak! No one here cares for you, least of all that King you love so much~"
"Be quiet..." you shook.

It laughed and took a daring step closer. Your hand shook and the sword threatened to drop.

"Let me in and together we can show him, we can show them all how strong we really are~"

Shaking your head you bit you lip. With every passing second you felt the fight leaving you.

"Let me in, I know you want to... We can avenge your parents together, you can slay every orc~"

It carried on walking closer until it was right in front of you. Black mist seeped from its body and cradled you as it raised its hand to your cheek, drumming its fingers along the skin.

"You're tired, I can protect you, I can keep you safe~"
"Y... you can keep me safe? We can.. we can get the orcs?"
"Yes~" it whispered, "Let me in~"

It took a step back and you blinked, the sword fell from your hand like slow motion and you dropped to your knees. It grinned evilly and Gandalf screamed your name.

"You mustn't give in!"

Hollow eyes turned to face them, tears made their way down your face.

"I... I can't.. I'm not strong enough..."

Thorin broke past everyone and collapsed to his knees before you. He took your face in his hands as he wiped your tears.

"You can, you're so strong (Y/N). Stronger than anyone here."
"He's lying, he doesn't want you here, you know that~"

Thorin furrowed his brow, searching your eyes he saw nothing.

"I want you, more than anything. I would give up the whole of Erebor if it meant I could have you."
"Stop lying!" It hissed.
"I tell no lie! It is you who lies, you twist and corrupt the innocent!"

It growled and stalked closer. Thorin looked at you pleadingly but still saw nothing.

"Please, I can't loose you my love, let me help you fight it." He pleaded.
"I... I.. can't.."

It laughed and kicked Thorin down, stomping it foot on his chest, you watched with hollow eyes as it pressed the sword in your hand and hauled you up. It moved your hand so the sword was in front of Thorin's chest, his eyes shining with sadness.

"Do it, end him~"
"I don't want to..."
"You have to, he wants to stop you, hurt you~"
"Thorin wouldn't..."
"He's lying to you~"

The longer you looked at Thorin, the more you realised what was happening. You saw Thorin mouthing something. He stopped and then mouthed it again and your eyes widened.

"N... no... no! I won't hurt him!"

Spinning around you raised the sword and lunged forward, driving it through the shadow monsters heart. Letting go, you watched as its body fell to the floor.

"We could have been great! We could have taken over every town and city!" It wailed.
"I don't want to kill anyone or rule anything!"

You watched as it dissolved into a black mist and your sword clattered against the floor. You stood froze, eyes glued to the spot.

"(Y/N)?"

Taking your eyes away you glanced at Thorin standing up. He brushed dirt of himself and you once again fell to your knees. He rushed over and placed his palms to your cheeks as he looked down at you.

"You did it." He whispered.
"I... I didn't it.. it's over..."

Thorin pressed his forehead to yours, closing your eyes you raised your hands to cover his as you breathed a shaky breath.

"I.. I love you Thorin.. I don't want to loose you..." you whispered.
"You needn't ever worry, you won't loose me amrâlimê, never."

Thorin kissed your nose and pulled himself back to watch you open your eyes. He smiled and pulled you up, wrapped his arm around your waist the pair of you faced the company. You had done it, you were free