Coffee Shop Conversations | ✓

18

"tell me about yourself," i say into my phone with a smile.

it had been a week since our last call. we agreed that i wouldn't actively try and figure out "jack's" identity and he would tell me by the end of the school year--whenever he was ready.

i had joked that he was just planning to run if i didn't accept him, which i would, obviously--to which he laughed.

my four options still stood: harper, finneas, graham or boyce. i seriously doubted tucker could be this sweet anymore. 

all the others, though, were seeming more and more likely.

"well," he begins. "i'm scared of spiders, but not the big ones. like the little ones. my mom used to tell me they'd crawl up my ass which is so morbid. i used to not be scared as a kid, but as i grew up, it kinda got worse?" 

"oh my god, same, except it's big spiders for me. they make me shiver."

i think i hear him say something about tarantulas (the spider i thought was the absolute worse) but then he coughs and the words are gone.

"are you scared of anything else?"

there's a beat of silence. then, "planes."

"planes?" i echo. "really? why? i used to fly places as a kid like twice a year."

his voice is quiet. "they can go out of control...so quickly."

"oh. have you flown lots?"

"my family liked to travel. so yeah, i'd be on planes a lot. i've always preferred trains though." he pauses. "what are you afraid of, like really? deep dark fear and all that."

something i loved about talking to "jack" was the conversation switched so naturally from a light, joking tone to something more serious with no judgment.

"like, for real? or what?"

"yeah, tell me."

"hm. this is going to sound way too dramatic. i'm scared of people leaving me, i guess, or change in general."

"i'm sorry," he says. then, hurriedly, "it must be really hard having that fear considering...you know, life is people. but i get that, and i guess you could say i'm scared of that too."

i shrug although he can't see it. "it hurts less after a while."