The Guy Who Gave Up His Jersey

The Guy Who Gave Up His Jersey(25)

My heart tighten when Ale said that, how could he believe he was in love with me? It made no sense, he made no sense. I try to help him out and tell him to date Arianna and he confuses he is in love with me? Who does that? Why did he do that?

“I’m in love with you Juliana.” He exhaled.

“You-you can’t love me,” I stuttered shaking my head in disagreement.

He stared at me for a brief moment. “And why is that?” He asked me. “Am I not good enough for you?”

“No, you can’t love me! We don’t belong together,” I responded, running my hands through my hair.  

He didn’t understand that “us” isn’t a choice; there was no way we would end up together. We could have a past together and maybe we can’t stand living without one another, but we weren’t meant for each other. Our relationship would consist of fights, tears, and anger and I didn’t want that for neither of us.

He put his hand on my cheek, caressing it. “ I know you won’t ever love me back, but for once stand in my shoes and try to feel what I feel.” He whispered.

His hot breathe hit my lips making them quiver. I wanted to move and walk away from him but his brown eyes made me get lost in them, and just like that I went into a daze. I tried to put myself into his shoes, and try to feel what he felt. If I loved him and I saw him with Arianna how would I feel? What would I do?

Imagining them together, holding hands and kissing made a lump form in my throat. It would be something I couldn’t stand, I wouldn’t be able to see him ever again if I loved him and he didn’t love me back. But what he was happy with her? What if we didn’t work out and I destroyed his relationship with her, who would I be to do that?

I put my hands on his and sighed heavily. “Loving me is something you need to get over with Ale. And Im not telling you this because I don’t want you to love me, I’m telling you this because all we’ll do is fight.” I told him sincerely. “I like Control a lot and he makes me happy, I know you have good intentions but for once I’m learning how to love someone.”

“Do you love him?” He questioned me hiding the pain in his voice.

“No, but slowly I feel like I am and I don’t want to let that go.” I responded truthfully.

I took hold of his hand and kissed the inside of it. “I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“If I was never part of the game and I was decent would you have given me the chance to be with you?” I heard him say.

I snapped my head up and saw how his eyes watered. He postured himself keeping himself in one piece. When I first liked him I never knew he was in the game, I thought he was just an average guy. Back then I would have, I would’ve loved being with a guy like him, and we would have probably worked out perfectly.

Alejandro wasn’t a bad guy, in reality he was sweet and nice, but his past is something that’s always going to haunt him. That’s going to keep me from actually ever liking him more than I ever did.