You can call me anything you want..A bitch? a slut? a hoe? a gold digger? a dick lover? call me anything you want cause i don't care...He owns me..He'll punish me..He can do anything he wants on my body....But there's a rules i should follow..
#1 do...
Waking up in the morning not even seeing his presence. Feeling so used, feeling the pain, feeling the tear rolling down
************************ I stared at the wall blankly with me under the covers naked and feeling used, but its different...This is more painful.
I looked like a bitch I looked like a slut I looked like a mistress I looked like a toy..but a sextoy
Even if i tried to pretend there are still pain who wants to enter, there are tears who wants to fall, there are mind that telling you to its okay, telling you that pretend...Even tho it kills me..I will still smile, laugh on my own. That's how i love him..only him and there's no one gonna stop me but my mind
I don't even understand what love means...Its hard to love if the person you love doesn't even love you a bit...
I can't stop this silent tears from falling down....I can't stop being in pain
I wiped my tears and started to get dressed, i wore this:
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Maybe both of us don't know what is love...but our heart does
I grabbed my coat and head outside, i went to the nearby cafe as i order my regular order
I looked outside seeing couples being so sweet to each other
I wish we could be like that someday...
"Ma'am here's your order" i thanked her and started to sip on my drink
"When can i unlock his locked heart?" I mumble beneath my breathe as i looked outside
Suddenly..i saw him with a girl, his childhood friend, Sapphire. We're very closed to each other and we already met nit once but twice.
The way he treating her is different how he treating me..he treats me as a bitch, a trash, a toy..i don't even know why i agree to a fucking deal with him!! Ugh!!
I grabbed my coat and started to leave, i went out as i can see their figure behind me until i heard someone call my name
"Y/n?! Is that you??" I looked behind me and its Jungkook...my trustful best friend
"H-Hey kookie" i awkwardly said as he chuckle "why so awkward lil' one?"
He smiled showing his bunny smile "nothing" i smiled back "Aw c'mon! We've been best friends for years"
I hummed "i guess so" i said and yeah..Sapphire and Jimin went to us as i awkwardly take an excuse
"I-I gotta go j-jungkook!" I said as i suddenly felt dizzy
Its been a days since i felt dizzy, i already took pregnancy test but yeah i'm not pregnant..i have an appointment to the doctor today as well
"Why? C'mon!" He pouted as i checked the time
"Y/n its been a while, lets hangout for a bit. Jimin is here too you know" Sapphire said and i looked a but terrified
"L-Lets just meet later quarter to 12 at jimin's house, its still early and its 9:45 " i said
"I have work but yeah sure" Jimin said simply ignoring me, I can take it..calm down
"Hey kookie, go catch up with them" i said and he hummed "I guess so"
"But hey.." I frowned at sapphire "yeah?" I said taking my balance
"Where are you going??" She asked smiling and i stutter "I-I'm going to my favorite place! Y-yeah! Right! H-Hehe" i stutter and she raised an eyebrow
"Okay! Lets meet here again" i nodded
I watched them three walked away, the way jimin wrapped his arm on her shoulder..hurts
I sighed and went to the hospital for a check up
"This way ma'am" i nodded as we reached the door
I opened it and greeted my regular doctor "oh hey Miss Y/n, welcome welcome! Take a seat" i nodded and thanked him
"Doc..Its been past 4 days since i felt dizzy and i already took a pregnancy test but no..i'm not pregnant at all" he hummed
"This is a bit critical i guess, lets go to this room for a check on you so we can know what's the matter" i nodded and followed him
-Minutes past-
"So what is it doc?" I asked and he sighed
"You have a.."
************************
"I can't believe it...why? Just why?" I sat on the bench, letting a tears fall
Why i'm so unlucky? Why do i have this disease?? I need to get the surgery as soon as possible!
I looked at the time and its gonna be 12 any seconds or minutes
"I guess i need to get going and fix myself" i sighed wiping my remaining tears
I started to fix my makeup and put my things on my bag. I started to walk away slowly as i was a bit sad and depressed and frustrated
I need to say goodbye to him as soon as possible i get the surgery on USA...I need to let go of him even if it kills me, I want him to be happy with the woman she loves and that's not gonna be me
I reached the place and put on a force smile "hi guys! Sorry if i'm a bit late" i said and jungkook wrapped his arms around my shoulder as i gasped a bit
"Its okay! At least 4 of us can hangout this weekend" sapphire said as i looked at jimin who doesn't even care..i guess there's no rules for him now
Next Day I knocked on jungkook's house as i have tear stained and he knows why..he let me in as i hugged him and cried
"I can't jungkook! I'm too weak!!I'm so stupid!!" I cried harder as he took us in the living room
"I know..I know, you need to get the surgery on the 2nd week and this week..y/n..you can spend time with him and for the rest..you need to say goodbye for him and its good for the both of you" I widened my eyes as i cried
"I-I love him jungkook so much! I don't even know why i fell in love to him" i cried as he patted my back
"Its okay y/n-sii, you're making me cry" he suddenly burst into tears
He hated it when he sees me hurt/pain..
"Please y/n don't cry..everything will be alright" he whispered as i silently sobbed
I don't know what to do...it kills me, i felt like dying...I guess i was a hated child
