All Is Silence - Deserted Lands #1

Chapter 11 - Part I

A SOUND JERKED LIZZIE AWAKE. Someone was pounding on the door. Jesus, C.J. is on the porch and coming in.

“Lizzie!?”

The knob turned. She pulled the trigger and the shotgun blasted in her arms. The force spun the chair and slammed the door, leaving holes where the morning light streamed in.

“Jesus fuck, Lizzie! You shot me! It’s Zach, for fuck’s sake.”

Zach. Lizzie dropped the shotgun on the floor. Saj’s eyes were wide awake, and his mouth worked, but no sound came out.

“Zach. Sorry. It’s safe. The gun is on the floor.”

“Unlock the door.”

Lizzie stumbled to the door, twisted the deadbolt and swung it open. Zach’s head poked in as Saj’s cry took shape.

“What the Hell happened, Liz?”

“Shh, shush, Saj. Sissie’s better now. No more loud noises.” He settled down when she stuck her thumb in his mouth, his mouth got suction and his sharp tiny teeth bit down.

“C.J. a.k.a. Big Curtis. That’s what happened.” She couldn’t say anymore or she would be a quivering mass on the floor.

Zach stared at her, immobile.

“I shot you?” Lizzie asked.

That distracted him. “Just a little. Don’t think anything got inside.” He held up his right hand, a couple spots oozed a little blood. “Nev, you can come in.”

Nev’s slim blue jean and sweatshirt clad form slipped inside the door. “Jesus, Lizzie. What happened?”

As soon as Nev came through the door, Lizzie rose and rushed to her. She hugged her friend close with one arm still cradling Saj.

“Where the hell were you guys?” Lizzie couldn’t say anything more. In Nev’s hold, her body shook.

Zach pulled the fussing Saj from her arms, Lizzie reached for him, but Zach ‘flew’ him up in the air and made goofy faces. Saj stopped whining and giggled.

Nev led her upstairs, helped her change out of her bloody clothes. Lizzie dressed mechanically then collapsed onto the bed, pulling herself into a little ball, while her friend tucked her in.

Lizzie shook while Nev ran her fingers through her hair. After a time the shaking subsided.

Nev rubbed her back. “You can talk when you want to, Liz. But you don’t have to.”

Lizzie lay there a long time. “Why me? Do I have a fucking ‘Rape Me’ sign on my back?”

“Oh, my god.” Nev hugged Lizzie’s back. “He was always a jerk, but, I didn’t think he’d—”

“Me neither. Why did he have to do it here? In this house? It’s all I have left of Mama and Jason.”

“I’m so sorry, Lizzie.”

Lizzie saw sympathetic tears on Nev’s pale cheeks. She sat up. “I need to get out. I need a shower. I can’t be here; I need to go someplace that doesn’t smell like death.

“We’ll figure it out.” Nev held her hands out, Lizzie let herself be pulled into that warm safety again.

But she couldn’t stay still. “I need a drink and a cigarette.”

“Maybe eat something first?”

“Maybe.”

                                                *        *        *

Lizzie sat at the picnic table in the back yard with a cigarette and a bottle of whiskey. She didn’t touch the whiskey, but for once she smoked the whole cigarette. She felt calmer as she inhaled. The wind blew the lame tire swing back and forth. Lizzie remembered pushing Jayce on it, and on other swings in parks. He always wanted to go higher and higher. Until the time he’d flipped upside down and face-planted on a tree root sticking out of the ground. There had been so much blood. Lizzie shook herself.

Nev brought Saj out. “Can you take him?”

Lizzie nodded, sucking on the last of the cigarette and dropping on the ground to twist it under her foot.

“You thought of where you want to go?”

Lizzie shook her head and blew out the last of the smoke. She reached for Saj and laid his sleeping form in her lap. “Only away.”

Nev kissed her forehead, warming up Lizzie’s insides a bit. “All right. You think and we’ll get you packed.” Nev turned and Lizzie watched her lithe runner’s body as she jogged back into the house.

Saj slept on her lap while she stared off at the clouds. Where? Was there anywhere she wanted to be? Saj’s eyes opened. “Sissy.”

“I’m here, baby.” Her hands stroked his silky hair. His eyes fell closed again. She thought about taking a drink, but the effort necessary exceeded her desire. She stared at Saj’s little chest rising and falling. Her racing thoughts calmed as she watched his little face, his eyes twitching behind his lids. “What are you dreaming about, Saj?” She felt her own breathing relax. The clouds were moving in the distance.

The door opened behind her. She spun her head—Nev and Zach. They were talking quietly and intently. Something about the body. They stopped talking as they approached.

Christ, they probably think I’m really going crazy now.

Zach had a plate of sandwiches. He placed one in her hand. “Here, eat something.” He mussed up her hair.

Nev’s arms wrapped around her. “We got you all packed, girl. I got clothes and toiletries. Zach got your notebooks and journals.”

“Everything’s loaded.” Zach glanced around the yard as he munched his sandwich. “Any last requests? Anything you can’t bear to leave behind?”

How about everything? Lizzie shook her head. “I don’t want to leave my music collection, but we can come back. Not like someone’s going to steal it.”

Zach sat across from her and tapped his fingers on the table. “Where do you want to go? We could go down to my Gramp’s place. It’s in the middle of the sticks.”

“Do you want to go there, Lizzie?” Nevaeh asked.