Beyond His Green Eyes| ✓

Panacea

Panacea; greek goddess of healing; a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases.

C H A P T E R    T H I R T Y - S E V E N 

Noah's POV:

My feet instantly gained velocity as they worked themselves on the field on which I played my most confident game. I decided to skip the gym, not wanting to see anyone else. This is where I came when I had problems whose solutions seemed to be out of my reach. It was easy to suppress all the shivers caused by the frosty wind of a 5 AM morning of New York because of all the plentiful incompetent thoughts in my mind. 

Why did it hurt even though it had barely been seven hours that I had talked to her or seen her?

I was just starting to understand the complexity of Sydney's personality. Each time I was with her, I would unravel a new side of her. Even though she was dead convinced that she wasn't a 'people' person, I knew for sure that she was. She managed to make more friends in the first year of college than I had in a lifetime. She was the most different person I knew. It was engrossing to have met someone who had an unusual and new approach to every single thing they came across. I was in complete awe of her. Period.

She cared way too much about people, but the one thing she felt pure hatred for was dependance. She absolutely hated the idea of having to depend on someone than no matter what it might be for, she thought of it as a weakness. Intense feelings repelled her. She, in no way, was refusing to work with me on this relationship, I knew that, but she was far far away from being in touch and acknowledging her feelings for me.

What took me by complete surprise was how normal I felt even though I was falling for her by the second. Like something like this was bound to happen with me. I knew I was a goner when I kissed her for the first time; she had me by then. Until her, I didn't know why people considered themselves lucky to have found 'the one' when they had a pool of people to hook up with. It was enthralling to be feeling all of these strong feelings for just one person because I had counted myself to be incapable of something like this. She was the absolute best. She didn't always have the solutions to my problem, but she had the ability to make me believe that I was strong enough to get through this. 

I had a significantly different concept of dependance. I always believed that in ways more than one, it gives you vitality. Knowing that you would always have someone standing by your side, no matter what? I definitely considered that as a sign of strength. I was at a complete level with my feelings for her while she, on the other hand, found out new ways to run away from hers. She didn't even want to acknowledge, let alone confess. It was astonishing how ready I was even though I had never been in a relationship while as she, being the experienced one, wasn't.

Nevertheless, I didn't want to impose my feelings on her and scare her away. I had fully prepared myself to give her all the time she needed as long as she stayed with me. And I realized that I did not wanna fight with her, especially because of that good-for-nothing Winston. Fuck it. Fuck him.

I gulped down half a bottle of water and downed the other half on my face as I felt satisfied with fifty minutes of running on the field. I decided to head back to the apartment and then meet Sydney and have a proper mature conversation. I opened the door to the apartment, and Jordan turned around from the doorframe of his room and threw his gym bag down.

"Where were you? Why the hell did you skip the gym?"

"Okay, dad. First of all, calm down," he gave me the middle finger with an exasperated look on his face. "I was doing laps on the field. I didn't feel like gymming, besides its just one day."

"That's the thing. You don't ever feel like not gymming," he said, wondering if he made any sense, and I just shrugged and walked towards my room.

"Bro, you alright?" he asked, worry lacing his tone. I was about to nod and head off because I didn't sit and explain to him why we fought. But he spoke up before I could reply, "Did you fight with Syd? You did, didn't you? Scar told me Syd was in an abnormally bad mood, that's why!" he connected the dots and shifted his eyes to me.