𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙈𝙚 𝙄𝙣.

A Stubborn Colleague, A Pretentious Father.

The next day arrived, and soon enough it was time for West to head to work.
He didn't want to go. He didn't want to see Killian or the look in his eyes after he had pushed him away.
He also hoped Killian wasn't too upset. He would understand it if he had lead him on the entire 3 months they'd spent together, but he didn't. Killian knew from the get go that West wasn't interested...
Well, he was interested, but it's not like he could do anything about it.

Not now, anyway, and West wasn't selfish enough to ask him to wait until he moved out of his dad's house, he wasn't selfish enough to date him when he knew he'd be leaving after graduation. He wasn't selfish enough to ask Killian to come with him, either.
Killian had siblings to take care of, it wouldn't be fair to ask him to pack up and leave his family for a guy he'd just recently met. And West didn't really need the stress of trying to maintain a relationship. He tried it once... with Ophelia, but that only lasted two months. He had too much going on in his life, adding a relationship to the mix again would probably make him lose his mind.

Once at the shop, he climbed out of his Toyota Carina and walked into the store. Inside, he found Killian working behind the counter, not so much working as flipping through a Cosmopolitan magazine, though.

"Hey."

"Hello." Killian replied curtly without looking up from his magazine.

"Could we talk?"

Killian shut the magazine and narrowed his eyes at West who was standing on the other side of the counter. "No. Shirley's coming in today. Wouldn't want her to think we're slacking off."

"Listen, I'm sorry about how I reacted, alright? I didn't mean to..." He swallowed a lump in his throat, "manhandle you."

Killian let out a hysterical laugh, "That's what you're sorry about?"

"Kill, I told you before, we can't--"

"Save it, Weston. It doesn't matter anymore."

West felt his face heat up. Killian was trying to make him feel guilty, he was trying to make him feel as if everything was his fault, when all he did was pull away from a kiss; one that wasn't consensual, mind you. Granted, he could've gone about it a different way, he genuinely felt bad for being rough in the attempt to push him away, for hurting him. But Killian was also in the wrong.

"You kissed me!" He fumed,

"I didn't ask you to! I didn't want you to! I told you time and time again that we were never gonna happen. But you kissed me anyway and complicated fucking everything! I don't know how, or when, but apparently, I gave you the wrong impression. And for that I'm sorry. Maybe we weren't supposed to be anything, maybe I wasn't supposed to let you in. If I'd known this was going to happen then perhaps we should've just stayed acquaintances... colleagues."

Killian stood up and started slow clapping dramatically. "Brilliant speech, oh fellow 'Colleague'. But Shirley's gonna be here any minute now, so I better get back to work."

He snatched his magazine from the counter then strided towards the door that lead into the garden. He spared West one last look before opening the door, "And for the record, you never Let me in. Not really."
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That night, West stopped by the market to buy pork chops. He'd never had pork chops before, he figured now was as good a time as any.

He was just like his dad in the cooking department, though, they both lacked the basic skill. The last time any of them had cooked, they had to eat raw steak, but it was different this time around. Not a good different. This time the pork chops were burnt to a crisp. It was oddly poetic.

"I would've taught you how to cook, but then again, my parents never taught me, either. "

"It's whatever. I don't eat much, anyway."

Paul nodded, then got back to munching on the crunchy toast they'd made after throwing out the pork chops.

West suddenly realized a strange fact, "You've never told me about them."

"Who?"

"Your parents... my grandparents."

"There ain't much to tell."

West lifted an eyebrow.

Paul placed his plate on the coffee table and sighed, "Well, whaddya wanna know?"

"Are they still alive? If so, do you communicate with them regularly? I don't know, anything."

"They're alive, alright. We're just not close. When we were 14... Dennis came out as gay to our parents--" Paul's face fell and he paused as if he suddenly remembered something he'd tried long and hard to forget.

"My dad was a preacher at the time so... he didn't take kindly to homosexuality. To be honest, even I didn't understand it at the time. But I accepted it... Cause Dennis was my brother, my other half. And when our dad threw him out, I left with him. Our mother didn't even have a say. She just went along with everything like a fucking sheep. Came all the way from Missouri to here. Our uncle, Randy, took us in, but he died shortly after you were born. Heart attack."

"I... I'm sorry that happened. It must've been hard for both of you."

"It was. So imagine my surprise when Dennis decided to take a wife. We went through all that for nothing."

"Dennis had always loathed himself, felt he was a freak of nature... he married Winona because he thought he loved her, that he was cured. But, you know, it's not a disease. It's who he is, that'll never change... but, I love him, and even though he's probably plotting my death right now, He's still my brother, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. You and him are my family, now."

He looked over at West and offered him a smile. "And family loves and supports each other no matter what."

"Right." West muttered. He was getting angry once again.

How hypocritical could you be? You were able to 'love and support' Dennis when you found out he was gay, but you can't even do the same for your bisexual son. He soundlessly seethed.

"That day..." Paul frowned, "A few weeks after you'd just turned 12..."

"You mean the day you realized your one and only son was a fag? That day?"

"Hear me out, I only reacted that way because it had been ingrained in my mind, from the moment I was born, that homosexuality was a sin. So I reacted the only way I knew how, the only way my father had also reacted to Dennis coming out. It was wrong and disgusting, I know. I can't apologize enough."

West furiously shook his head, "You are not your father. You could've been supportive, you could've guided me. You could've given me unconditional love, but instead, you chose to be a crooked human being. I can't even count the number of times you humiliated me, beat on me and called me a faggot. "

"I fully understand where you're coming from--"

"No, you dont. I was confused. I was 12 years old, and I was confused. About everything...my feelings, my sexuality, who I was. I just needed someone to steer me in the right direction, someone to tell me, to assure me, that it was okay to be different. That I could like boys and girls without feeling like, as Dennis put it, 'A freak of nature.' But all I was good for was your endless torment and hatred that made me loathe myself, too. That made me terrified to accept the person I was. I had to fend for myself, to find my own way. You could accept your brother, but you couldn't even approve of me, your own son, and that hurts me everyday." West lamented as a stray tear rolled down his reddened cheek.

Paul's face was etched with shame, he tried to put his arms around West, but he instantly shrinked away.

He tried frantically to wipe the tears that were now free falling over his cheeks, "I can't even attempt a relationship with... any boy, because there's still a voice, your voice, at the back of my head, calling me a faggot every time I even try to think about a boy in a certain way. You did that. I can't even be who I want to be, you fucking did that. So don't you ever say you understand."
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Jesus everyone's fucking angry in this book wth is going on lads 😳😳😳😳