34 : That's the One

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When I get home, Auntie and Uncle are beaming in the kitchen again. I hear Helen giggling about tickets to shows she's booked. Uncle claims to have picked out the greatest attractions and interactive experiences.

I grumble to myself. How can I take this from them? I think about the speech I prepared mentally.

Auntie, I feel sick. I've been vomiting all day. All I see is subway chunks. I'm traumatised.

Auntie, my exam on Tuesday is giving me so much anxiety. I'll fail if I don't study all weekend.

Auntie, Sylv got Paige pregnant and facing him makes me want to make my short life even shorter.

I sigh.

"Sweetie, have you packed?" Auntie Helen calls from the kitchen as I mount the first step of the stairs. "The flight is early in the morning, so you won't have time tomorrow."

"Umm..." I consider lying again. Just tell her you're sick. "I'll pack now."

I hop up the stairs and pull my suitcase out from the cupboards.

For half an hour, I stare at my open draws. The dress Scott bought me still hangs in my wardrobe. In a burst of anger, I grab it and imagine flushing it down the toilet. I get my scissors, cut it in half and throw it in the bin.

Then I find the underwear set he bought me and toss that too. Why did I ever keep these things? Why wasn't I smarter when I was fifteen. God.

With fresh eyes, I look again at my cupboards. I grab my cutest winter clothes. Focus on fashion instead of impending doom. Yes.

I take a deep breath as I finish up the packing. My phone rings.

I roll my eyes at my stupid ring tone then lay on my bed and answer it. "Sup," I say.

"Yo, where you been?" Avalon's familiar voice is soothing.

"Sick," I fake a cough.

"You're missing Sylv's fight."

"I thought it wasn't for another month."

"It got bumped up because of booking issues."

Avalon updates me on the week that I missed. In return, I update her on Adrian.

"Jess and I went shopping yesterday and bought our winter formal dresses. Mine's light pink. I'll send you a pic on snapchat."

My stomach churns. She went with Jess and not me? Why didn't she tell me she was going shopping? She says it as if Jess is her best friend, not me. As if I wouldn't have a reason to be jealous.

"Oh," I sigh. "I haven't bought mine yet."

"Do you want me to come with you? I don't think May has hers yet either."

"Yeah, I'll see."

Auntie Helen knocks on my door. "Winter formal dresses? Did I hear correctly?"

"Hi Auntie Helen," Avalon calls from the speaker.

"Hello Avalon, dear. How are you?"

They exchange pleasantries over the speaker. Then I say goodbye to Avalon to talk to Auntie.

"What is it, Auntie?"

"I have some dresses for you to try, if you would like."

I smile even though trying dresses on now is the last thing I want to do.

"I was invited to a lot of formals back in the day," she smiles. "I was quite popular in Newhaven."

"Because you're beautiful, just like Mum."

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