sugar baby [h.s]

twenty eight

I decide to spend a few hours in the Louvre while I wait for Harry to finish up with his meeting. Mia and Devon guide me through the priority lines so that I can get my ticket and audio guide without having to wait in the massive queue of fellow tourists. I would feel guilty but it's only open for a couple more hours and I want to see as much as I can before closing time.

The inside of the museum is rather chilly so I'm quite happy with the way that I've dressed. My long black skirt is lightweight but protects me from the chill while my soft white sweater keeps me warm enough to not have to carry around a jacket. I make my way through the various rooms at a rather leisurely pace, listening to the audio guide about a few of the pieces that peak my interest. Mia and Devon have made themselves rather scarce, alternating between one standing guard about ten feet away from me and the other standing by the exit scanning the room. It is a little odd to have security if I think about it, but it does make me feel good knowing I'm not completely on my own here.

One of the piece in the room has caught my eye, the audio guide begins the tale of 'Psyche abandoned by Cupid'. Psyche is asleep in the bed as Cupid rises from the bed and reaches for his arrows, ready to leave without a single goodbye. The audio muses that perhaps true love is fleeting even in the mythical world. Though it's often said that Cupid and Psyche find eternal love in the end, so perhaps it's a bump in the road. I can't help but smile, reflecting on my own situation with Harry.

I pace through the next room staring aimlessly at a series of statues. Harry and I are unlikely to be eternal lovers, though I'd be a liar if I said I had never thought about it. Some days my brain even allows itself to create stories to play out like movies in my head. Stories like Christmases spent huddled around a roaring fire exchanging gifts, me graduating from university with him in the crowd looking on proudly, one particularly outlandish one involved us redecorating a room together as I waddle around with a swollen belly and wide grin.

If the circumstances were different, if we were different, it would be a question of why not. Why couldn't we make it work? If he had a little less money or I was a little bit older, would that really make the problems that we seem to have go away? Or are they deeper, built within us, and do they always find a way to rise to the surface because our subconscious minds know better than our hearts?

I pause in front of a statue I feel like I've seen a million times before. On paper, we make absolutely no sense at all. A nineteen year old business students with a messed up past and no money, with an intelligent successful beautiful 30 year old man who can often be cold and cruel. We have had some problems, and I have no doubt that more aren't far off. But when I'm with him, when he looks at me; I swear that there is something here that's worth fighting for, or at least trying to. I'm not in love with him, but some days I get scared that I might not be far off from that.

My feet continue to carry me down a small set of marble stairs into the next room. A large painting from the French Revolution causes me to play the audio guide again. I recognise it from one of my history classrooms in high school. Hate to admit it but I'm as bored listening to the tape now as I was back when Mr Mulligan was trying to explain its significance years ago. My eyes wander over the room again before they land on a figure. A boy, my boy, talking briefly with Devon before he strides towards me with a soft grin.

I slip the headphones off my ears and smile as he approaches. "Good meeting?"

"Productive, but now it's over. Having fun?" His smooth tone is a welcoming sound in this room of so many new senses.

"Yes indeed, there's only a few more rooms to go. I'll be quick I promise" I say quickly, eager to finish off the tour but not eager to cause Harry so much boredom that he thinks twice about bringing me on his next trip.