Before the Morning [BEING EDITED]

34 | Steel

Nolan couldn't open his front door.

Nathan, Willow, and Rachel huddled around him, waiting, but his fingers continued to hover above the door knob, and no matter how much he cursed and urged himself to just get the hell on with it, he couldn't move.

Nora was in there. Maybe sleeping, maybe not. But she was in there, and she believed he'd kept his word. And when he walked into his bedroom, she would know the truth, and she would hate him.

He wasn't ready.

You're doing this for her. So finish it.

"Nolan?" Willow whispered.

"I'm fine," he muttered. He opened the door.

Greg was in the kitchen when they piled inside. "I heard some movement earlier, but it's been a bit," he said.

Nolan nodded. "Thanks," he said.

Greg nodded back.

Nolan led the way down the hall. Thankfully, Caleb was nowhere to be found. Keep him asleep. Please.

He would go in alone. They would wait in the hall. He'd tell her. If things went well, he'd call them in. If things didn't...they'd take it from there.

He permitted one breath before forcing himself through his bedroom door.

It was just his bedroom—his sleeping bag sprawled across the floor, the remaining clutter he hadn't bothered picking up, and Nora, asleep on his bed. She must have been awake at some point. Her plate was empty.

The little solace he'd found in the normality of it all shriveled. Her day was going to be ruined the moment she woke up.

Tell me this is the right thing. But of course, it was. What was the alternative? Send her back to an abusive dad, hoping he wouldn't one day snap and, say, push her down the stairs? That he wouldn't continue to beat her down with his cruel lies until they were the only thing left?

He eased the door shut. The air was heavy, leeching onto his dread and pressing over him as he dragged his feet toward his bed. Nora stirred, and he paused, waited. She didn't move again.

He knelt in front of his bed, grimaced, and shook her shoulder with a gentle hand.

Nothing.

"Nora," he murmured, shaking her again.

Her eyes opened, and she gasped, launching forward. He reeled, then reached out, grasping her hands and holding them firmly, but gently. "Hey, hey," he said. "It's just me."

She looked at him and took a deep breath. Then another. Her expression cleared, the panic seeping away. "Hi," she said. She pressed her good cheek into her drawn-up knees.

He couldn't return her smile. "Hey," he said.

"You okay?"

He started to nod—automatic—but stopped himself short. "I need to tell you something," he said. Her eyebrows creased as he settled into the spot beside her. "I..."

He couldn't look at her. The floor, the window, his dresser...but not at her.

"Nol? What's going on?"

He would look her in the eye. She deserved that much. "I..."

Shit. He couldn't say it.

Nora's eyes widened. "You didn't tell your brother, did you?"

He could have shaken his head—he hadn't told Greg, not really—but he didn't. He didn't do anything. His body had stopped working properly, only capable of staring at her with imploring eyes.

"Nolan." She grabbed his arm. "You didn't tell him anything. Right?"

He shook his head once. Twice. "Not him," he whispered.

She tensed. "What did you do?"

"I..." He closed his eyes. Opened them. "I called Willow."

"You what?" She shoved off the bed and spun on him. "What did you tell her?"

He said nothing. That seemed to be answer enough. "I can't believe you," she said. The words were soft, but they stabbed him more profoundly than any shout could have. She shook her head and backed away from him. Each step was like a bullet to his chest.

"Nora—"

It was too late. She flung open the door, and there were Willow, Nathan, and Rachel. She backpedaled, a shriek on her lips. And then she looked at him. Just looked.

Her expression was so much worse than anything he could have concocted in his head. She stared at him like she didn't know who he was—like he was a total stranger. Like she couldn't believe she'd dared to put her trust—her faith—in him.

"Nora," Rachel said, stepping into the room. "Honey."

She shook her head. "Whatever he told you, I'm fine." Her eyes never left his. A steel had eradicated their warmth.

"Let me see your face."

She didn't budge. Rachel moved closer, until she was at Nolan's side. Her jaw dropped, a horrified hand flying to her mouth. "Oh, Nora."

Nora tore her gaze away from Nolan. "I'm fine."

"Okay." Rachel's responding smile was tight. "I'm going to take you home with me, though, okay?"

Nora glanced at Nolan. "Okay."

Rachel wrapped an arm around Nora's shoulders and led her from the room. Willow and Nathan followed. Nolan stayed where he was, rooted to his sleeping bag. Nora disappeared around the corner. She didn't look back.

He was still standing there when Greg peeked into the room. "They left," he said.

Nolan nodded.

He teetered and collapsed onto his bed, his hands reaching for his face. The tears came before he even comprehended the urge to shed them.

A hand touched his back. "You did the right thing," Greg murmured.

Even so, the weight on his heart refused to ease. Nora's face.

"What's going on?"

Nolan peeked through splayed fingers. Caleb clung to the doorway, then gasped and rushed across the room, wrapping his arms around Nolan's neck.

"Nolan's having a rough day," Greg said.

Caleb's forehead slid against Nolan's cheek as he nodded. "It'll get better," he said, patting Nolan's back.

Nolan dropped his hands and gave Caleb a small smile. "You think?"

"Mm-hmm!"

They sat there like that for a long time. Greg and Caleb rubbed his back, murmuring comforting words at first, but eventually allowing their presences to be enough. And they were.

When he was done, he'd shed tears for Nora, his parents, and himself. He was still sad. But he was lighter, too.

"Better?" Caleb asked.

"I don't know."

"I know what will fix it."

"Yeah?"

"Bacon."

Nolan and Greg chuckled."I'm on it," Greg said, and stood. Caleb cheered and scurried out of the room,Greg in tow. Nolan paused, frowning at his rumpled blankets before following.