Ex

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My body shot up with a deep inhale. Panic swept over me.
Where was I?
What time is it?
Who's here?

I looked all around. I was in an unfamiliar bedroom, in a bed. I pretty much still had my clothes on minus my shoes and jacket.
I was alone.

Shit! I had to be to work.

I looked all around for the time. There was an alarm clock on the side of the bed that read 6:35 a.m. That was the biggest relief ever.

I became aware of all the pains throughout my body when I got off the bed. Before I could get to the door something in the corner of my eye startled me.

It was Damario. On the floor. Sleeping.

I was so confused.

I went to go wake him. Took me about 3 minutes.
"What? What? What?"
"Yo, fuck is going on? Why are you on the floor?"
He slowly sits up and looks at me groggily then looks at the bed then down at the floor.
"Oh, shit."
He rubs his eyes.
"I must of fell out of the bed," he says behind his hands.
"How did I get in your bed?" I didn't remember anything, besides seeing a toilet bowl.
"Shit, give me a minute."
I exhale.
"I need coffee and an Excedrin."
"I gotta take a piss," I say before slowly getting up.

I found Damario in the kitchen. He was slowly sipping coffee.
"Want some? It's old though."
"I didn't even know you drank coffee."
He shrugs.
"Not often at all."
I sit down at the kitchen table across from him.
"Last night I found you in my bathroom," he says.
"I remember last being in there."
"I had pulled you out because I wasn't just gonna leave you on the floor like that. I also wanted to watch over you so I brought you to my room. I was laying in bed too but like I said I must have fell off."

I look off to the side, trying to think about last night. I blacked out most of it. I shake my head.

"Last night was wild. I don't remember most of it but I know for a fact it was wild. Actually, I don't think I'm drinking with you ever again."
"Don't be like that, blood, I've experienced worse."
I shook my head then rolled my eyes.
"I still got work in a few."
"That sucks."
"Don't you got to be to work too?"
He gave a fake cough, not even trying to make it real.
"I'm sick," he said in that nasally voice.
"Nigga!"

I popped some Ibuprofen and got myself ready for work when the time was near.
This week was going by slow.
I dragged myself into work.
"You look sick," Triana tells me with her deadpan face.
I think she likes me now. We're getting there.
"Tough night," I shrugged.
I guess she looked slightly upset that I wasn't messing with her this morning. But I wasn't up for it. I dragged myself down to my shared office.

I didn't feel like working so I guess I'll mention the other Program Coordinators that I never mentioned before. There are three of us. I manage everything Group C. Group A were the elementary students. Group A's coordinator was a guy named Jackson. He was a young, light skin dude, real cool. He was 24, not too much older than me. He graduated from college out here almost 2 years ago and started a job here right after.
I already knew he was gay. He kept pictures of his boyfriend on his desk and his boyfriend, Givanté, came and got him a lot from work. I've never seen the dude, though.
We talked here and there, I liked the guy.

Group B pertains to the junior high students, their Coordinator was an older woman named Karol. I didn't like her ass at all! She's 35 and the pretentious type. She thinks she knows it all and both me and Jackson can't stand her. I'm quick to put her in her place which is neither below or above me so she needs to get it straight, we do the same shit and make the same money. Jackson mostly just ignores her.

As soon as I walk into the office Karol is about to head out. But she really huffs and points her nose to the ceiling as she brushes past me and out the door.

How old are we again?

Jackson is at his desk snickering.

"What the fuck was that?" I groan.
He looks taken aback.
"You sound dead."
"Had a crazy night."
He looks back at his calendar then back at me with a puzzled face.
"On a Tuesday?"
"Tell me about it."
I crash into my desk chair.
"You need anything?"
"No, thanks man."

I rubbed my face and just stared at the computer screen for the longest time. I did not feel like turning it on.
And then it hits me.
Last night.
What Damario had said.
Now that I think about it a lot of what he said dawns on me. I wasn't paying attention to it then but now....

He had to have been talking to a guy. What the fuck? Did that mean...? Nah. That doesn't even make sense. He could have been talking to some chick.... one he calls 'nigga' a lot.
Nah. That still doesn't add up. It had to have been a dude.

It was on my mind all day. I couldn't focus on anything, and still went another day without seeing the high school kids. But Brie informed me that they talked about me a lot. But still my mind didn't fully take that in.

Damario is gay?

"Hey, boi!" Damario shouted with a cheesy grin.
He was much happier and refreshed.
I couldn't look at him the same.
"Hey," I simply say.
I get in the car and off we go.
"I've decided to stop drinking for a while.... not the first time I've ever said this and I definitely won't be quitting for long."

He still seemed proud of himself.
I remained silent. I really wanted to know but didn't know what to say.

"You real quiet today. Did Jackie get in touch with you?" He got serious real quick.
"No."
I can feel his quick glances at me.
"You hungry?"

Why did I feel like this was a suspicious thing for him to say? It just felt real.... intimate.
I was bugging. What did it matter, he was still going to be my best friend. I like guys occasionally too.
It's still a shock though.

"I take that as a 'no'."
I realize I didn't answer him.
"I'm sorry, I'm just still out of it from last night."
"You ain't gotta worry about that anymore. I ain't drinking anymore... for the time being."
"Right."
"Don't say it like that."
"Are you gay, D?" Finally shoots out my mouth.

I had no time to be surprised by it because it was over with, I said it, and I waited on his response.
He got completely quiet. I look over at him and all he's doing is focusing on the road. He makes a few turns but still stays quiet. I started to doubt my thinking.

"Why do you ask?" He says with a deep voice that he rarely uses.
"I started to remember some things while at work. Your ex, it's a dude, right?"

He continues to look out the windows and drive steadily. He eventually stops but we're not at his apartment, we're at the beach again. I notice for the first time that the clouds were very dark. A storm must be coming.
He parks the car then turns it off, staring at the clouds.

"Yeah, man."
He eventually says while rubbing his eyes.
"Really?"
"No, I'm not gay, but my last ex was a guy."
He hesitates.
"First and only guy I've ever been with," he admits.
"That's crazy. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Ain't shit to tell. I don't deal with that nigga anymore and I highly doubt I'll ever deal with a nigga again."
He shrugs like it's nothing.
"So why were you with him to begin with?"
"I was curious but my ass stuck around too long. It was nothing, Les. I'm not even attracted to guys. He wasn't bad looking but I was more curious about it than I was attracted to him."

It grew quiet again and that's when the rain came falling down hard. It was so loud, the rain pounded on the car. We couldn't make out the outside anymore but continued to watch the rain.

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