The Man She Betrayed

33. The Plethora Of Adversities

Clara

Six years ago

I have been sitting on the same place for five hours now, my eyes frozen on the piece of paper that ruined everything. The tears in my eyes were dried up by now, leaving behind silent sobs. I couldn't believe it was really happening. He really left me, just because he was fed up of the issues when I left everything behind for him.

I heard the door to my room open and Kevin entered inside but I didn't avert my eyes. I felt him sit beside me, passing a cup of coffee towards me. Shaking my head in no, I pushed the cup away.

"I'm so sorry for what you're going through Clara." he said and I prepared myself for hearing how he wanted me to leave because Ryan was his friend and he had left now.

"You don't have to worry. You have all my support. I know you must need a place to live and..." he said, placing his hand on top of mine.

Jerking my hand away, I hid my face in between my palms, letting out another whimper. "I'll go. Just... Please give me one day. I'll figure something out." I almost begged, my voice was pleading.

"No. You are getting it all wrong." he said and once again grabbed my hand, rubbing the back of it with his fingers. He was probably just being empatetic while all I felt was disgust at a man's touch, after what Ryan did. "You can stay here as long as you want."

I blinked at him, wide-eyed.

"Consider it your own house. If you need anything, just ask me." he said and I nodded, feeling overwhelmed all of sudden.

"Thank you Kevin but I won't be a burden on you for long. I'll start searching for an apartment as soon as possible." I said, fighting the tears accumulating in my eyes. I couldn't go back now, not after everything I did. I burned the path of returning to my old life and now, Ryan had left me stranded in a new life, one that I never dreamed of.

After Kevin left, I hugged my pillow and cried again, muffling my sobs with the soft material of the pillow. My whole body was shaking with grief and everything in this room reminded me of Ryan, his betrayal.

Is that how Aaron had felt when I left him? Did I cause him the same amount of pain I was feeling right now? If yes, then it sucks because that's probably the worst kind of pain possible.

...

For the whole next week, I searched for apartments all the while working double shifts at the restaurant. I had engrossed myself in work because whenever I was free and alone, all I did was cry at my destiny.

I felt betrayed, I felt grieved but most of all, I felt disgusted of myself for doing the same with Aaron. The man who never treated me with anything but kindness, the man who went out of his way to help us and just like that, I ruined him and now, Ryan had ruined me.

Kevin had been really helpful to me. He never made me feel like I was helpless. He supported me in my worst but I couldn't stay with him any longer. A part of me didn't trust him. It was not his fault because honestly, I don't think I would be able to trust any man again.

After returning from work, I went into the bathroom to take a shower. With exhausted body, I stepped under the shower, feeling the warm water remove the smell of restaurant food off my body. This was probably the second time I took a shower in the last week. Nothing mattered anymore, not my clothes, not my looks, nothing.