Red Dead Redemption II Preferences and Oneshots

Micah Bell: Depression

Micah Bell X Female Reader

Summary: Micah finds out about your depression and self harm scars, it strikes a cord inside him that neither of you thought existed.

WARNINGS: depression, self harm, mentions of suicide
Also, some insensitivity/ignorance from Micah
Please don't read if any of this effects you.

Word Count: 4300

You and Micah had only spoken a few times but you would both drink together quite a lot. You often sat with him in the camp and drank in silence. Neither of you really addressed the fact that you both sitting together was becoming a common occurrence, you both just accepted that it happens. You both liked the silence and you thought that it seemed a little less sad than drinking alone.

On the few occasions that you did talk to each other, which normally happened after you both had a few drinks, you had found his company strangely pleasant. You didn't have to watch your mouth around him, you could say whatever you wanted and he wouldn't even blink twice at you. Micah had actually made you laugh a few times as well, which in return made him smile even if he would never admit it.

Maybe it was thanks to the alcohol your simply your self hate, but you started to enjoy Micah's company even if it was just sitting in silence.

-----

You had been having an extra hard time recently, everything just seemed so much harder than before. You could barely get out of bed in the morning, you only managed to do so to make sure that the others didn't start asking questions about your behaviour. You have barely had an appetite so you haven't been eating much, finding yourself only able to stare at the food with distaste. You had being avoiding talking to anyone because socialising just seemed like so much effort recently, faking smiles and trying to remain present was just tiring you out.

The only thing that had been normal for you recently was your evenings spent drinking with Micah. you would still join him at the table, neither of you saying a word as you shared a drink.

However, Micah had noticed that you had been drinking with him more often than usual. At first he didn't mind, finding himself actually enjoying your company, but he began to grow a little concerned about you drinking more than usual. Had something happened?

Micah had noticed that you seemed more withdrawn than usual, not offering him your usual smile as you sat down. It wasn't that you looked sad, you just seemed...blank. Micah hated to admit it, but it was actually a little concerning.

He had tried to start one of your rare conversations, telling you another story of one of his latest adventures, but you just nodded at him as he spoke. Clearly, you weren't actually listening to him.

You mumbled an apology, feeling guilty for not paying attention to what Micah was saying. As you passed him, Micah reached out and wrapped his arm around your wrist to stop you from leaving. He furrowed his brow in confusing when you flinched, wincing in pain. He was confused because he hadn't grabbed you roughly by any means.

You looked away from him as you pulled your arm out of his grip and walked away, leaving Micah confused but he didn't follow you.

-----

You were drinking by yourself at the table that you usually shared with Micah, it was late and everyone else was asleep. You should have been sleeping, you had tried to fall to sleep but you couldn't seem to do it.

You glanced up when Micah sat down beside you. You couldn't help but wonder why he was sitting closer than usual, he usually sat opposite you not right beside you, but you didn't question it.