after you left |ai|

17

After a week, the bruise was starting to change colour and getting ready to disappear. The pain was mostly gone and my mind was finally wrapping around what happened. I spend most of my nights with Aiden, trying to figure out what happened the past weeks with his dad. But I wouldn't be getting any more than a few bits and pieces as he's leaving again on sunday. I got a week with him and I'm thankfull for that. I'm thankfull he didn't get put into a crowded place right away but that they looked for a place that would fit for him. I'll still see him at school the next weeks, so it won't really be a goodbye.

It had taken me some time to convince him but he finally agreed on going with me to Ashton's for thursday dinner. He reassured me it was alright if we skipped one, that he was doing well but at the same time Jackie told me the opposite.

When I arrived at his home, the dogs were already waiting by the door which had caught Aiden's attention right away and formed the biggest smile on his face. I watched him until I saw Ashton coming down from the stairs. His hair was still wet and dripping and I could see his shirt was a bit damp from throwing it on quickly without being dry.

"Hi, welcome" he said softly as he looked at me before looking at Aiden, "Hi Aiden, I'm Ashton" he said after he kneeled down a little to be on his level, Aiden waved softly before reaching for Piper.

"Dogs!" He shouted and Ashton chuckled softly before letting Piper and Bella past him to meet Aiden.

"You can come inside and play with them." Ashton said as he made room for them to pass and he went inside straight away.

"Hi" he said to me again and he tried to make the smile on his face seem real but I could see he was just faking it.

"Hi, how have you been? I haven't really seen you since Friday and that wasn't exactly a good night." I asked him while I walked inside, he closed the door behind him and scratched the back of his neck, I've already noticed that that was his nervous tick.

"Not too good, we had a show in downtown LA yesterday. It kinda brought back a lot of memories." He said with a shrug and I nodded softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I said and he hestitated while we followed Aiden and the dogs to the living room, I could see Olivia in her playing bed with a toy half stuffed in her mouth and a smile on her face. Aiden found the toys rather quick to play with the dogs.

"Is mac and cheese alright for Aiden? Otherwise I can see what else I have."

"Yeah it's alright." I said, I looked at Aiden shortly before sitting down on one of the barchairs at the counter and watching him while he put the mac and cheese in the oven. He took two glasses and a bottle of wine before standing on the oposite side.

"The last show we did when Sam was still here was in that venue. It was a show for charity and she stood in the back of the venue all night, dancing along to the music, 8 months pregnant and two weeks before I lost her. But all night she stood there, dancing with our friends and with me when other artists were on stage. But when we came up, she shouted my name and an 'I love you'. She was so proud of us and she sang along at the top of her lungs every song." He said and I looked at him while his eyes were fixated on his daughter behind me. "When we came on the stage wednesday, a girl in the back shouted my name and told me she loved me. I knew it wasn't Sam, yet I looked for her all night. I used to be able to see her everywhere but now she changed into a memory. It just all hit me and I haven't been doing very well since, I realised I started doing a lot of things without her without realising it. I started getting used to doing it on my own again."

"Did the bed start to feel less empty?" I asked and he nodded slowly before looking at me, he had mentioned before that that was what he struggled with the most. The empty spot next to him on the bed. "Piece by piece you are learning to move on, it's not easy at all and it's going to hurt like hell too but it's a good thing. You will never forget her and she will always stay in your mind and heart, don't forget that. There will always be moments where you will remember her more vividly again, just try to see them as a good thing instead of a bad thing. Try to remember all the good moments you had with her."