The Rejected Alpha

Chapter 78

I shut the front door and leaned against it.

After spending a good three or so hours in the backyard trying to clear my unclearable mind, I decided to get in.
Also because the weather was beginning to get chilly. I was suddenly extra cold.

I had a lot to think about. About Sarah's feelings and her point of view. And then I tried to see it from as many people's point of view as I could.
I tried to think about how people who aren't in love with Damon felt about all he did and all its caused.
I've been directly affected, yes. But I've learned to let it go. But there are people who haven't. People who've lost so much and haven't been able to start healing.

I sighed. Something needs to be done.

Damon was sitting on one of the couches in the living room working on his laptop but the look in his eyes seemed distant. He wasn't actually doing anything, he just sat there with the laptop. Doing nothing really.

He turned to look at me.
He studied me for a moment before he shut his laptop and sighed.
He stood up and came to stand in front of me.

We both stood there like that for a while until I dropped my head and let a tear or two slip.
I hated feeling like this.
Never certain.

He moved forward and grabbed my hands and gently pulled me to the couch and we sat.

After I was sure that the last of those treacherous tears had fallen I looked up at him.

He looked sad.

And for one quick moment I nearly forgot why I was sad and was just feeling his.
"You've been talking a lot with Sarah huh?" The way he said it made me feel like he knew the exact direction that our conversation went in today.

How did he know that I just had a chat with Sarah?
Had he been following me?

"Yeah." I just said. He nodded.
"How'd you know?"

He sighed and looked straight ahead.
"She tells me that I've clouded your judgement. And that she'll make sure you see reason again. I just put one and one together and figured that you just had a long talk with her." He shrugged. "And also I could feel your emotions from here."

He looked back at me.
"I know she hates me, she has every right to. And I deserve every bit of it. But I really don't want you to."

I remained silent. And watched him, he looked like he wanted to say something more.

He was looking straight ahead again.
"This is really hard... " he stood up from his position and faced away from me. "When you first came, I wanted nothing but for you to hate me."

Doesn't take an Einstein to have figured that one out.
"At some point I did, I also believed that you hated me as well."

I didn't even want to think back on those those days.
All the attitude, the hurt, the exile. He nearly even kicked me out one time.
I became the prisoner he wouldn't let go and wouldn't let in.
It's been quite a year.

"Why'd you do all those things?" I asked, remembering how he used to almost deliberately shove his relationship with Cassandra in my face. That's what it had felt like to me.

He still hadn't spoken. He was in his own bubble.
I stood up and he turned around.

"Hope."
Well, that explains everything.
Not really.

"I have lost everyone I have ever loved. Right from my childhood. I didn't know how to deal with the pain and I did bad things that I truly regret. Especially to you. But I know that's no excuse. Karma would eventually get to me. So I stopped hoping for a better future. I stopped a long time ago. And then you came." He shrugged like he almost didn't believe that I actually did.