【17】Never Have I Ever

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Oli's tender hand on my thigh was very conflicting

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Oli's tender hand on my thigh was very conflicting. It wasn't high enough on my leg that it could be considered intimate, but still, the gesture wasn't exactly one friends exchanged. I could feel the heat of his palm coming through the fabric of my jeans and heating my skin. It was confusing, and I didn't know what to make of it. My skin didn't tingle, there weren't any sparks, but I still felt something; a comforting, enjoyable warmth that emanated from his touch.

Nine months. I hadn't been intimate with anyone for nine months, and finally being touched, even a gesture as platonic as this one was bound to make me feel something. For nine long months, no man had laid a hand on me, and I was suddenly remembering we were gregarious animals, with needs and instincts. I hadn't realized what I'd missed, as it simply wasn't there, but now I somehow craved it.

Intimacy.

A part of me wanted Oli to move his hand up, to truly make a move and leave no room for doubts or questions. Ever since his bold move with the ice cream, he hadn't done anything remotely as flirty, so I'd been left wondering if maybe I hadn't imagined things. I hated mixed signals, and I wanted him to show me what he wanted so I would have to stop wondering. But at the same time, if he did, I would have to make a decision and consider whatever feelings he may harbor for me. I liked him a lot. He was a friend, my very best in Seattle. But my brain couldn't fathom him being more than that.

Someone shouted, and I was reminded of the people with us. I looked around worriedly, to see if anyone was seeing what was happening on our end of the couch, but everyone was focused on Jay. Everyone except Tamika, who was holding back a grin, her eyes discreetly turned to Oliver's hand on my thigh.

I didn't want her to get too excited, or imagine things, so I stood up suddenly, dislodging Oli's hand. "Anyone want a refill?" I asked, grabbing the empty bottles of beers on the table.

A few nods came my way, and Oli didn't seem to take my sudden escape poorly, as he asked for one too. With my hands full of empty bottles, I went to the kitchen. They joined the other ones on the counter, and I went to get fresh Coronas from the fridge, as well as the opened bottle of Rosé. Once everyone had their drinks, keeping beers for Oliver and myself, I sat back in my spot, trying to get as close as possible to Julia. I handed his beer to Oli and pretended to focus on Tammy, who was drawing a cat-like animal.

The charades ended, and our pair ended up in fourth place. Jay and Kat were first, Tammy and Soo second, and Dakota and her fiancée third.

We continued with a very raunchy game of cards against humanity. For once, my inappropriate humor turned out to be useful, and I won my fair share of rounds.

As the evening unfolded, the atmosphere loosened even further, the alcohol flowing, and a game of 'never have I ever' initiated itself. I hadn't played it since high school, and the whole thing would have felt a bit immature, were we not that inebriated.

The game quickly made me realize my life had been quite uneventful, as I turned out to be the one drinking the least. No, I'd never had sex in water, never driven drunk, stolen anything of value, cheated on a test, been kicked out of a bar... I couldn't help but watch Oliver's answer, curious about his adventurous side. He'd had sex in a pool, had driven drunk, but very slowly and carefully during the two-mile drive, and had lied to an ex about having someone new.

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