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IT WASN'T UNTIL the next day that Natasha's death really sunk in. It felt like the heaviest weight in the world was placed on Amber as she downed a shot, trying to shake the guilt off of her. This of course, numbed somewhat of the pain but the guilt never budged. They were holding a ceremony down at the lake soon- it was only going to be the surviving Avengers. No. One. Else.

Amber leaned against the counter of the bar, pouring herself another shot. Only for the glass to be swatted out of her hands by Tony, who had a look of pity plastered across his face. She didn't want his pity, she wanted to have been the one to fall. Tony placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to move away from the bar. He'd never seen the girl drink before, he wasn't even sure if this was her first time touching alcohol, although he wouldn't be surprised if it was. Amber stumbled slightly, batting off Tony's hand. The two walked down the small dock, the girl tripping over her own feet on multiple occasions. The rest of the Avengers had gathered, all of them distraught and looking lost.

Amber avoided everyones eyes, crossing her arms and standing beside the wooden pillar, that held up the covering. The girls head was spinning, as, Tony, Steve, Thor, Clint, and Bruce are mourning their fallen teammate and friend.

"Do we know if she had family?" Tony spoke up after a while, turning to his teammates.

"Yeah. Us." Steve replied, wiping a tear from his face.

"What?" Thor asked in confusion, making everyone turn to face him.

"I just asked him a question..." Tony explained, raising a brow at the god.

"Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right? So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together." Thor rambled, his hands in the air out of exasperation.

"We can't get her back." Cling said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Wha- what?"

"It can't be undone. It can't." Clint sighed, as Thor laughed dryly.

"I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And "can't" seems very definitive don't you think?"

"Look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she?" Cling shrugged, looking down.

"Now that's my point..." Thor began,

"It can't... be undone. Or that's at least what the, great floating guy had to say." Amber spoke up, "MAYBE YOU WANNA GO TALK TO HIM? OKAY? GO GRAB YOUR HAMMER, AND YOU GO FLY AND YOU TALK TO HIM."

Everyone's eyes landed on her, Amber soon calmed down, her anger replaced with pure grief. Her head still spinning from the drinks earlier "It was ssupposed to be me. S-She sacrificed her life for that S-stupid s-stone. I was perfectly happy, hanging over that cliff. She bet her life on it. It s-should've been me." Amber slurred, a single tear slipping down her face.

In a burst of anger, Bruce grabbed a bench and hurled it across the lake. His anger spent, he turned to the others with a resigned look on his face, "She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to." Banner said sadly.

"We will." Steve nodded, Amber scoffed and turned to walk away, stumbling over herself as Steve rushed forward to help her.

"Get off!" Amber snapped as Steve steadied her. The rest of the Avengers say in silence, while the man refused to let go and guided the girl back inside the compound.

"T-this is bullshit- bullshit.." Amber stammered,

"I know Amber," Steve started,

"No. You're all bullshit. Why are we acting like n-nothing has happened?! W-We just lost our friend. The-The one person who tried her best to keep the avengers together in tthe last five years, so t-t-tell me.. why is no one acknowledging that she's gone?! We had one tiny gathering and within the blink of an eye it's over - bullshit." Amber exclaimed, her drunken self staring Steve right in the eyes, not backing down.

(A/N - After writing this I realised it sounds so alike drunk Nancy in Season one when she's in the bathroom with Steve, (Stranger things). oop- )

Steve looked very fake aback by the girls outburst, "Come on Amber... let's get you to bed." He muttered shaking his head and leading the girl to her room. Steve's eyes widened when he saw the state of it.
Photos were torn off the walls, there was clothes everywhere, her mirror was cracked at the edges, the man glanced at the girl who merely jumped straight into the comfort of her bed.

"Why is it that everyone I love always ends up dying?" Amber croaked, Steve looked down at her; and for a split second he swore she'd changed into her little thirteen year old self.

"I don't know Amber...I don't know." The man replied truthfully, as she closed her eyes. Steve turned to leave, glancing back at the girl in worry. She was like a daughter to him, he hadn't seen her like this since London. The man sighed lowly and made his way out of her room leaving the girl sleep.

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All I can think of now is that Amber has the same curse as Peter has oop-

Also IF YOU SHIP AMBER AND STEVE, please stop

I might also be writing a Narnia fic oop-

Anywho, DONT FORGET TO COMMENT AND VOTE!

I just wanted to be like you

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