We Will Shine {Book 6 in the Star of Gryffindor Series}

Chapter 35 - Murder Upon Murder

~Wren~

By the next morning, I was a little upset at myself for breaking down so completely. But maybe it was all right. For one thing, a weight I hadn't even realized was there had lifted off my chest. I didn't know what it was. Certainly not guilt, because I still being plagued by that. But maybe anxiety, or shame. At least the fear was gone. Everything was out in the open, and nothing had changed.

Albus and Colette reacted exactly the same way James and Astra had. Of course I had to tell them, not only because James heavily implied that it was a good idea, but also because they were some of my best friends, too. They deserved to know.

I was less worried about talking to them, anyway. What was really weighing on my mind was the idea of admitting all of this to Mr. Potter and Professor Haverna.

Why them? I couldn't exactly explain it. Mr. Potter was obvious, as was eventually talking to Mrs. Potter and Lily. They were the closest things I had to a caring family. But Professor Haverna?

My friends hadn't made a big deal out of it, though I could tell they wanted to. I didn't know how to defend that decision, anyway. It just felt right. Professor Haverna was invested in my wellbeing, and was an authority figure, and... I don't know. I suppose when your parents are as crappy as mine have been, you latch on to any adult who actually cares a little.

Talking to them was terrifying, though. My head told me, logically, how I knew they would respond. Maybe I wouldn't completely agree with them about everything, but they would tell me it wasn't my fault, I'd been a child, they forgave me. That's how it would go, the only mess happening if I started to cry telling it. But fear kept creeping in and saying that they'd be crushed, they'd turn me in, they'd never forgive me.

These thoughts waged war in my head as I stood in front of Mr. Potter's office door, hand poised to knock. I'd hesitated. But I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Come in." He sounded busy. Maybe I should come back later. I shook my head quickly, reaching for the door handle. If I didn't do this now, there was a good chance I never would.

"Oh, Wren, hello." Mr. Potter smiled warmly at me and motioned to a seat. I found it was taking everything in me to stay, and not turn around and run out the door. I slowly sat down and watched as Mr. Potter's smile faded, replaced by a look of concern. "Is everything all right?"

I shook my head. "I... I need to tell you something."

Now there was a much deeper concern. "Okay." He nodded slowly. I could tell he was making an effort to stay relatively relaxed. He wasn't doing very well. "What is it?"

"Can you get Professor Haverna, too?" My voice was getting quieter. It matched the urge I was feeling to simply curl up and hide rather than say any of what I was about to say.

"Of course." Mr. Potter stood up, then hesitated. "Would you like to wait here? Will you be okay?" I nodded quickly, and he hurried off.

While he was gone, I tried to think of what I was going to say. Get some semblance of a plan. At least know where to start. But I couldn't. The only thing that kept running through my mind was I'm sorry.

The door opened again way too soon. I resisted the urge to stiffen, instead letting out a slow breath. I didn't look up until they'd both sat down.

"What's wrong?" Mr. Potter rested his elbows on his desk and leaned forward.

"Um..." I swallowed, pushing down the urge to lie and save face. "I... It's something that happened a few years ago. Several things. That I did."

I paused for a moment. Professor Haverna shot a very quick glance at Mr. Potter, but otherwise they both still seemed supportive. That was good. I took a deep breath, then very quickly launched into the story I'd told James and Astra the night before. I'd had a choice, and I'd chosen wrong. I'd hurt people, badly hurt them. I couldn't make it right, either, because most of them were probably dead by now.