FORBIDDEN DESIRE 2 | Jungkook × Reader ✔

Ch. 37 : Boy's love

"Maybe because of the relationship I now have with Haechan..."

"Is it okay with him?" I get a bit curious about him and his boyfriend. "Yeah and...no...I'm not sure about my feelings and I'm scared to hurt him...I hate myself for that..."

"Why aren't you sure?" I frown but gaze at him with concern, not understanding this sudden change of mind but feeling like an important event could have caused this. "After last night...I just keep on thinking about a lot of things now...but I don't understand why I feel that way..."

"Do you want to talk about it more in detail?" I propose him to go on in his worries, letting him have his own choice regarding this. "This is too weird for me to talk about it to anyone...I don't want to sound sick in my head or something like that..." he reduces the volume of his voice the more hisi sentence approaches the end, as if some shame was filling him gradually. "You're not, Daehan, seriously, I want you to talk about it or else this will worsen with the time. You should never keep something to yourself if this is worrying you...I and your sister are always here for you."

"Actually...this is about Y/N...that's why I don't want to tell you or her...even though I talked with her some minutes ago..." he remains ambiguous in his answers, not being clear to let the vagueness stay through it. "Daehan...I don't want to push you and force you to say it if really you don't want to but...you know I'm here no matter the problem. I'll be even more in pain or concern if I don't know the reason for you to be so anxious."

"I just...I feel scared...I don't want to be drifted away from her...I don't know why. None of my friends are like that, most of them are happy when they're afar from their family while I'm feeling bad or guilty when I'm hanging out with my boyfriend and doing some stuff behind my sister's back. I'm a dumbass...I wish I could be a kid again and just be taken care of by my sister but not have to think so much..." he sighs as the exasperation could be heard in his speech. He really seems more troubled than I thought he would.

"And...you don't know why you feel that way? Is it because...you need your sister's attention...love...care...or...something else?" I focus on him with a lot of interest, willing to solve or at least find the main problem that caused this whole thing. "That's what I don't understand...I don't know what it is...I just feel immature but I need her and her bits of advice all the time...I really fear the day when I will have to leave her...I don't want it to happen..."

"You're still young, don't worry about that yet and you know...If really you still think that way with the time, I know for sure that neither I or your sister would mind keeping you at our house if really this is important for you but...once you'll meet the good person you'll be shocked to see how different this will be in your head."

"I feel like this won't ever happen, I mean, I like Haechan but at the same time...I don't feel anything anymore once I think about Y/N. As if I was doing something bad..." he passes his hand through his hair, even my own mind not figuring out what could be happening in his head. "Is there something bad about your relationship with him that you're too scared to tell us about? Does he force you to do some things you don't like...or else...?"

"No, not even," he relieves me right away. "The only thing that could be wrong is his age but—"

"His age?" I cut him off a bit too harshly without willing to. "What do you mean by that? How old is he?"

"I just...I like older guys because...of how more manly they look and all so....he's...he...is...twenty-four..." his eyes furtively glance at me as soon as his answer escaped from his mouth, setting me in a lot of apprehension about this number. "Well...I'm not going to be against it...at first...alright? But...there're a lot of things to take in consideration with this kind of age gap...First...you should be careful, think about the way he talks to you, what he wants to do when he's with you or the way he touches you. Does he seem very...demanding or touchy with you...? Have you already been asked to do sexual things a lot and more...?"