Reject (mxm)

Chapter Seventeen: Ruari

All the pack warriors, save for Bran, left with Ciaran. The reports stated the enemies have more wolves advancing towards the compound. All the able bodied males of the pack are scattered and on patrol around the pack house where most of the women and children are now hiding. And me? I'm still standing on the spot where Ciaran left me. Where he carelessly pushed me like a hapless burden that he doesn't know what to do with or what to make of.

"Alpha, could you please step away from the windows." Bran said from behind me.

"Don't call me that," I said my hackles rising. He really shouldn't...

"But you are..."

"I'm not your alpha!" I snapped turning to face him. "I'm not even a member of your pack! Your alpha is Ciaran and no one else. He's out there fighting to protect Moonscape because that's what alphas do, protect their pack. And I... I'm no one."

"You're the alpha's mate." He said a stubborn line etched on his face.

"Is that all I am, the alpha's mate? You're protecting me because Ciaran ordered you to?" I taunted. "You know my story Bran. You probably heard how the others treated me during my time here. I was considered lower than the dirt in your shoes. Are you sure you're alright protecting someone like that?"

It's not his fault. I know it's not. But Bran is suffering the brunt of my temper because the one I want to have this conversation with is too deaf to listen.

Bran is two years younger than me. He was tested and made warrior when he turned eighteen, no more than a year ago. He came to Moonscape after he lost his parents on a raid that wiped out his previous pack. He was ten years old. His mother was originally from Moonscape but switched packs after she mated with his father. He's an only child.

How do I know all that? I asked him and he told me. Bran told me about himself along with the others whom I talked with on my first week back in Moonscape.

They're no longer faceless people to me. No longer just bad memories. The more I stay with the pack the more I see these people for who they are. They're Bran, Leanne and little Cale, every man and woman who needs a home, security and protection.

They're part of the pack, my pack if Ciaran was willing to share them with me. But damn him for choosing ego and pride over me yet again. He  made his decision, didn't he? I gave him a chance and he threw it back on my face. He basically told me to be grateful for whatever scraps he gives me.

To be denied the opportunity to care for others, to not be allowed to help when you're able and to be cut off from everyone without first having the chance to connect with them hurts, too damn much. And this rejection pains me more than I thought it would.

For the first time since I stepped back on Moonscape pack lands I regret being here. I should have left when they were still nothing but shadows of the past to me.

Ciaran's doing fine on his own. He doesn't need me here. He never did and he never will. Once this shit is over I'm leaving. And this time, I vow never to come back.

"Don't push yourself too hard Bran. We both know where I stand on this pack." I murmured turning to resume my vigil by the window.

Bran surprised me by boldly stepping forward. He stood close enough to look imposing and intimidating but not enough to be disrespectful.

"You are Ruari Lyall mate of Alpha Ciaran Blackburn. You are to stand as future alpha of Moonscape pack beside your mate, the spirits demand it." He said evenly, seriously. "I protect you not only for Alpha Ciaran's sake but because I believe the pack needs you. You can help save us alpha. You're finally home, safe, and we want to keep it that way. Is it wrong for us to do so? You are important to all of us here. Whoever told you otherwise is a fool and needs to be taught a lesson."