fourteen

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saturday, july 20th, 11:48 pm. someone's house?

they had managed to get to a university party. the nearest university was almost a 45 minute drive from renjun's house, worth it though.

chenle and jisung stayed home because in jaemin's words "they are babies! they need sleep!"

donghyuck walks in. to his left he sees a group of people with glitter on their faces, on his right people playing drinking games. it feels so right.

this is where donghyuck should be, a place where everyone can express themselves without worry. the group on his left offers to put some glitter on his cheek. donghyuck knows he'll be finding glitter everywhere for years.

jaemin and jeno have seemingly disappeared but renjun is talking to university kids. they grow up so fast.

this is the night donghyuck lives.

"hey! i've never seen you before? i'm yukhei, you?" the boy, yukhei, asks.

"i'm donghyuck," he feels no shame, "lee donghyuck."

"love the glitter it's a nice touch, really brings out your eyes," yukhei compliments.

"thank you," donghyuck blushes, if anyone else he knew saw the glitter on his cheeks donghyuck would get pushed. he ignores those ideas though.

"i have to go now but if you see my boyfriend, please report it back to me," yukhei scans the room, "he's probably looking for me too."

"will do," donghyuck salutes. boyfriend. donghyuck smiles wider than he has all summer (renjun takes a photo from across the room.)

the night passes by, donghyuck really feels like this is where he belongs, everyone is so kind to him. they play games and donghyuck learns he is surprisingly good at flip cup. donghyuck is wasted though. can't tell the difference between his right and his left. all worth it though.

the pain is gone. no identity crisis. donghyuck tells about 40 people he's gay that night.

"i'm gay," donghyuck slurs, leaning against renjun.

"i know you are donghyuck," renjun laughs.

they've decided to crash there for the night because donghyuck has had his whole speech on how he's "never going back" and "this is the life."

as the party winds down donghyuck sees yukhei walking out holding a boy's hand.

"yukhei," donghyuck shouts, "good job finding your boyfriend!"

"thanks lil man!" yukhei yells back, his boyfriend slaps him on the chest.

"renjun, how did you set this all up?" donghyuck questions?

"jaehyun's a family friend," renjun points to an older boy who's in the kitchen, "this is his house. you see i knew you needed something like this to get your mind off of things."

"i love you, renjun."

"i love you too, hyuck."

"no homo though." they both laugh.

donghyuck wakes up in the morning with a killer headache and a sense of peace. he's greeted by jeno, jaemin, renjun and jaehyun. the rest of jaehyun's housemates are still asleep.

"good morning sleeping beauty," jeno chuckles, "we made toast for you."

"blessings."

donghyuck sits down and admires his friends. they are the people he loves the most. donghyuck thinks his life isn't all about romantic love but the love for his friends. donghyuck finally finds peace in himself. donghyuck thinks he can finally heal. with his best friends next to him at each step. he forgets about mark, he forgets about that whole town and every person in it.

finally, donghyuck lets go of all the anger inside him. a soft smile sitting on his face as he bites down on his toast.

the 45 minute drive home feels shorter than it did last time. donghyuck looks at the trees his eyes passed on the trip there. everything looks so beautiful.

donghyuck arrives at his front porch with a letter on the step.

to: hyuck

i know you aren't home right now but i wanted to just tell you that i miss you. i miss being with you. i understand if you never want to see me again i just want you to know that i still love you and i want to be with you.

if you still feel the same, meet me at the corner store on tuesday at 5 pm. i'll buy you a red bull if it persuades you.

(p.s. you looked beautiful in that picture renjun posted, the glitter on your cheek suits you so well. you're so pretty lee donghyuck.)

- mark

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