A Little Bit Longer || YeonBin

1

He stared at the sickening white pills laying on a small cup just on top of his bed side table. It was almost mocking him. Making him feel ridiculed by them saying that this stupid thing right here, this stupidly delicate small white circle thing right here, could "save" his life.

It's been going on for years. The same pills greeting him every day for the past 5 years of his life but nothing ever changes. If those damn medicines they keep on giving him work, then he wouldn't be trapped inside this fucking hospital. He wouldn't had spent 5 years living in this fucking room with nothing but haunting white walls and an ugly shade of blue as a curtain.

They don't have to fool him anymore. They don't have to make him believe bullshits and give him false hopes anymore. He knows they couldn't save him. He knows those pills aren't saving him either.

And honestly, he doesn't know if he still wants to be saved anymore.

He sighed, moving his right arm to reach the cup and pour the little pills on his hand. His eyes lingered on it for a bit before he let out a sneer; low, soft and bitter. He then opened the window next to his bed and threw the pills out, feeling oddly satisfied to had thrown the false beliefs together with those medicines.

For being half-way on the road of giving up.

The boy stood up from his bed, his pale green hospital gown trailing behind him. He stepped a foot forward and searched for his slippers but wasn't able to find the other pair. As if on cue, his brows automatically formed into a frown as he commenced an unplanned search.

Funny enough, this unexpected disturbance was actually one of the few things that could keep him entertained for the day. The thing that would've been annoying for a normal person was a chance to be preoccupied if you were a dying patient. It keeps your mind off of thinking when your time would come, what would be the last thing you'd be doing when that happens, or what would be the last word you'd say before you finally succumbed into a peaceful slumber.

A slumber without having the need to wake up.

Finally spotting the delinquent of a slipper under his drawer, he leaned down a little bit to try and get it out but it was enough to set his body to go erratic. He winced at the pain on his chest, clutching his heart and punching it lightly the moment he began a coughing fit. It was terrible. And the boy couldn't help but be pissed off at himself for not being able to have a healthy body.

Seriously? Can't he fucking die now? Hasn't he suffered enough? He's tired. So fucking tired to be blunt with you. It won't even bother him if he was to lie lifeless on the cold tiled floor right now, he would even be thankful. He bet his soul would be so delighted for escaping the prison cell called his life— if what he has could still be called a life since he isn't living anyway.

He gripped the edge of the table for support when he felt his legs weakening, letting out a small curse after his fit. The said boy then crouched down and reached for his slipper, wearing it and feeling the familiar soft, fury soles underneath his two feet. His lips curled upward slightly as he made his way towards the door.

"Where do you plan on going at this time of noon, young man?" A voice he knew by heart suddenly asked, coming from behind him.

He turned around once he closed the door and found his assigned nurse raising his brow at him with a checklist on hand, probably his schedule, and a trolley filled with medical stuffs beside him. He spared the nurse a blank look and shrugged, attempting to take his leave but was stopped with a pull on his back.

"I ask you a question, you answer it."

He rolled his eyes and faced his nurse again, removing his hand pulling on the back of his shirt. "Somewhere."

"That's one way to be precised." The nurse shook his head, putting the checklist down on the trolley and searched the boy for something. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern once he didn't found what he was looking for.

"Where's your tank? Why aren't you using your oxygen?"

"Last time I checked, this world's atmosphere is made up of 21% oxygen and I don't own any part of it."

"You know what I mean," The elder gave him a stern look, as if giving him a warning for being sardonic. "why don't you just stay in your roo–"

"And be bored to death? I refuse." He scoffed, earning a glare from his nurse. "Joon hyung I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry too much."

Namjoon, his nurse, who now had a reluctant expression plastered on his face, let out a defeated sigh. He knew he couldn't change the younger's mind, and it's not like it's the first time he'd done this anyway. "Alright, alright— just don't go too far and tire yourself. You know it's bad for you, Soobin."

"Sure. I'll go now, see you hyung."

With that final sentence, he bid goodbye and went off to wherever. Still around the vacinity though, since the patients weren't allowed to leave the facility, especially when they were unsupervised.

Soobin wondered if he should just take the risk and sneak himself out.

Afterall, everything's already bad for him. He got nothing to lose.

~~~

what are your thoughts so far?

shall i go on?

anyways, stay healthy everyone and don't forget to always wash your hands