The Marauders: Year Seven Part Two

Lily's Surprise

After seeing James off to the Shrieking Shack, Lily started off to find Peeves the Poltergeist.

While talking to James in the dormitory, she'd had a moment of absolute brilliance. For some time, she'd been struggling with any idea of what to get Remus as a birthday present, and had secretly been rather relieved not to be invited along on the adventure Sirius had planned in lieu of figuring out what to give Remus that would be special. Sure, chocolate was always welcome by Remus Lupin, or else a jumper since he was always cold, but James regularly saw to it that Remus received these so that Lily felt as though they were no longer qualifying for the extra special category of Birthday gift. But James had inspired her at last and now all she needed to do was implement the plan she'd thought up with a speed that would impress even Sirius Black.

Peeves was zipping along the stairwell bannister, shouting as he slid along, knocking books and from people's arms and kicking at the portraits so that they shimmied and hung crookedly on their nails. The subjects were yelling frustratedly, trying to get someone to right them, and Lily stopped at the foot of the stairs, watching as Peeves spiraled ever closer. Finally, he arrived at the very end, coming to a hardstop as he hit the knoll post directly in front of Lily Evans.

Peeves cackled and grinned at her, "Oh no no no! Has Peevsey been caught by the Headgirl? Oh what trouble he must be in!" He blew a gigantic raspberry at her, spittle spraying through the air.

"Trouble indeed!" Lily announced, hands on her hips. "The Bloody Baron would surely hate to come upon this mess you've made!"

Peeves giggled. "His Baron-dom is far off away in the dungeons! He won't catch Peevesy at this trick." He clapped and rubbed his palms together. Peeves took great care in knowing precisely where the Bloody Baron was at all times as he was the only one in all of Hogwarts school who truly unnerved the poltergeist.

"The dungeons, you say?" Lily asked, "Well. What about Filch, then! He will not be very pleased with you, either, I reckon. I was just headed his way to get the latest report on what new items are forbidden, since its Hogsmeade weekend coming up soon, and I reckon he's added to the list. Perhaps I should tell him what you're up to and see how you feel about him then, ey?"

Peeves made a loud farting noise by pressing his palm to his mouth and blowing very hard. "That's what Peevesy thinks of Mr. Filch!" he cackled again and spun about in the air. "I'd tell on myself to him!"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Like hell you would."

Peeves drew himself up. "I would!"

"Wouldn't! You're just as scared of Filch as you are the Baron!" Lily laughed, "Him and his cat."

Peeves spun, agitated, "I will show you Little Lilly LooLoo!" And he zipped off down the hall, shouting for Mr. Filch in a cackling singsong, begging the caretaker to come and have a see what he had done.

Lily watched him go, then hurried back downstairs to the dungeons. She had to move fast if she wanted to get back to Filch's office before Peeves had finished distracting the poor man, and she had to get to the Baron and convince him to bestow upon her the key she needed...

Lily found the Blood Baron dragging his chains about one of the mustiest cells near the docks where the little boats were. He was moaning and floating in circles as though pacing and Lily hung back in the doorway a moment, hesitant to interrupt a ghost with a title such as the Bloody Baron. "Excuse me," she said at last, voice timid, "Mr. - er - Baron, sir..."

He whirled about to face her and came flying at her, quite close, drawing up only just in time not to fly through her. He stared down his nose at her. "What do you dare disturb the Baron for?" he demanded.

"I'm very sorry, sir," she replied, turning on the charm and looking quite sincerely apologetic. "I wouldn't have bothered you, of course, except it's a rather important matter..."

The Bloody Baron stared coldly at her, holding his chains in his fists, not speaking. Lily hesitated a moment, unsure if she should go on or leave before he got really angry, and finally the ghost said, "Speak, girl, I am exceedingly busy and you are wasting my time!"

Lily wondered if a ghost's time - being eternal as they were - was even possible. But she quickly rambled out, "Mr. Filch is busy and out of his office and there is a student who has misbehaved and I need to write him a detention slip but it seems I'm quite out of them, and I was hoping that perhaps I might borrow one of your keys in order to get a pad of slips from Mr. Filch's office. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, as I know that he, as do you, cares very much about the justice and punishments system that we here at Hogwarts try to uphold." Lily tried to look very solemn at this request.

The Bloody Baron eyed her carefully. "What's Filch busy with? Not the Poltergeist?"

"Yes, the Poltergeist," Lily answered, feeling only a little bit guilty for making Peeves her scapegoat after using him to clear Filch from his office already. "He's sweeping up and down the stairwell, knocking all the paintings there askew, causing quite the ruckus!"

The Bloody Baron looked quite irritated at this and he muttered ghostly threats about what he'd do to Peeves as he rattled his chains. He drew from his pocket then a key which he dropped into Lily's hand. "This key will return to me within one hour, do your bidding within that time!" And he shot up and through the ceiling, headed in the direction of the staircases above.

"Right then," Lily said to herself, utterly flustered by the entire encounter with the creepy spirit. She shook her head, mentally reviewing what she'd just done. "Sirius Black, you really have altered me," she muttered, looking at the practically stolen key in her hand.

Hurrying now to be sure she got her goals accomplished before her hour with the Baron's key was up, Lily rushed upstairs and checked that Peeves, Filch, and the Baron were all properly occupied in the stairwell, then hurried down the corridor to Filch's office. The alohamora easily unlocked Filch's office door, and she hurried to his desk, sat in his chair, and unlocked the bottom desk drawer. Inside were various confiscated items from all of Argus Filch's student conquests, piling up in a magically extended drawer that pulled out so far Lily felt as though it might never end and she might search forever and not find what she was after - if she was a muggle, that is.

"Accio Map," Lily whispered, and from beneath all of Filch's most recent apprehensions came the rough-edged parchment. Blank, it appeared, and Lily smiled as it flew into her hand. Quickly, she tucked the Map into her jumper and pushed the drawer closed, locking it and leaving the key there on Filch's desktop, from where it would disappear soon to return to the Baron.

She was practically singing as she returned to Gryffindor tower, and went up to the Marauder dormitory room and laid the Map on Remus Lupin's desk, slipping it beneath his half-finished parchment for Transfiguration, smirking as she imagined the reaction he would have when he found it.