Peter flew through the open window and landed with a tiny thump on the wood flooring of Stark Tower.
"Karen, please do one last scan of The police radars in the area."
"Who's Karen?"
Peter jumped at the voice above it. "Clint?"
"The one and only." Clint smirked as he plopped down from an air duct. "So who's Karen? Is she a friend?" He winked as he asked the question.
"She's my AI." Peter answered just as Karen informed him there were no current criminal activities as far as she could see.
"You have an AI? Like JARVIS or FRIDAY?" Clint asked, peering at the mask.
"Yep!"
"How do I get one of those? Tony!" Clint whined as the genius entered the room.
"When you learn appreciate the technology I've already given you maybe."
"I do appreciate it." Clint insisted. "Hey, what are you laughing at?"
Peter was giggling. "Just last week you threw all your exploding arrows at my web to 'see what would happen'. The gym nearly exploded."
"Is that why the security camera was covered in soot?" Tony glared at Clint.
"So we can't see video?" Natasha made a sad face.
"Don't sneak up on a man in his own tower!" Tony flinched.
"Do you take video during trainings Karen?" Peter called out.
"I take video all the time. Mr. Stark refers to it as the 'Baby Monitor Protocol'."
Peter's face turned completely red.
"Are you gonna show us the footage?" Natasha smirked.
"Um. Sure. Karen, can you pull up video from last Monday around three on the TV?"
Natasha, Tony, Clint, and Peter clamored onto the couch as the screen turned on.
—————
The TV showed Peter standing over the sink in his bathroom with the mask on.
"I need information. You'll give it to me now."
He looked at up at his face in the mirror and coughed.
"I need information. You'll give it to me now." His voice was slightly deeper.
"Karen? Do you think I sound like a girl?
—————
"Nope. Cut the video." Peter yelped.
"What're we watching?" Bruce asked as he and Steve sat down.
"Trying to find video of Clint almost blowing himself up." Natasha said with an amused face. Tony and Clint were too busy giggling.
"Try Tuesday around 11 maybe?"
—————
"The police will be arriving soon." Peter swung away from the robbers who were stuck to the side of the building with his webs.
A swing later and he was soaring over the next street over.
"MJ?" His voice cracked in surprise.
The mask turned toward a girl in the street. It focused on her smirking face.
"Son of a monkey!" The mask jerked to the side and Peter just barely missed a lamppost.
————-
"How about later that day?" Peter cut in.
Sam and Bucky laughed from the bean bag chairs where they had joined the viewing party.
"Son of a monkey?" Natasha questioned fondly.
"Kid, you can swear better." Clint faked disappointment.
"But he shouldn't." Steve and Bruce added, staring at Clint harshly.
—————
Peter was still on patrol. He glanced down at the sidewalks moving quickly below. Suddenly he stopped.
"Can I pet your puppy?" He held his hand out to the Corgi puppy next to him.
—————
Peter had his hand over his face now.
"It was a cute puppy." Bruce comforted him.
"Um, try Thursday morning?"
—————
"So can you like, lay eggs?" Ned was looking awestruck at Peter's costume.
"No! Why would you think that?"
—————-
"I meant Wednesday"
—————
"Come on. Talk to me." Peter made some kissy noises with his mouth. He beckoned the spider to come closer.
"Scott can do it." He sighed dejectedly.
—————
"I'm sure it was Wednesday. Another hour later?"
Tony has tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
"Can you talk to spiders?" Bucky shot Peter a questioning look.
—————
"There's nothing patriotic about illegal fireworks." Peter stood with his legs shoulder-width apart and his hands on his hips.
"Stop, drop, and roll." He was clearly imitating Steve.
—————
"Sorry Mr. Rogers." Peter's face was impossibly redder. "Karen, could you go later please?"
Everyone, already having seen the "Rappin with Cap" videos, were giggling at Steve, who was sporting a blush on his own.
—————
"I'm just going to leave." Peter left the room.
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Family
FanfictionA series of oneshots featuring the Avengers acting as a family. Open for requests.
