38 : Back to Hell

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Before I know it, we're back on the plane heading home. Going on this trip, I knew things were bad – but I didn't expect them to get worse.

On Tuesday, I finally decide to stop pussying out of school. I've faced Sylv now. I can do it again. If I have to – but I know he won't make any effort to run into me. Since our hug, we haven't said a word to each other. Not a word. I'm relieved, but it also kills.

It kills.

The hallways seem unfamiliar. For a moment, I forget where I am. Avalon appears at my side with her crazy hair in braids. It looks amazing. She has brown braids that ombre to blonde extensions. The tips are beaded with pink and gold. "Nice hair."

"It's for winter formal. I've been really stressed over exams lately, so I keep chewing on the beads. Anyways - have you asked Sylv yet?"

"No," I look down at the checkered tiles. Then I remember Paige's diary and what she wrote about Jackson. "Avalon, can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah?"

"How's Jackson?"

"Why?" Avalon is instantly suspicious. She knows I don't usually give two sh*t's about him.

I'm good at lying on the spot. "Before the accident, Paige told me something about Jackson. I think you should know."

"You're scaring me," her thin brown eyebrows rise and her lip pouts.

"It's not about other girls – relax. Paige told me that she caught him vomiting in the bathrooms. She said he's bulimic."

"Oh," Avalon's face shifts. She thinks for a few moments before speaking again, "he's really self-conscious. But he's not that skinny."

"He's definitely smaller than he used to be."

"I guess..." she starts chewing on the end of one of her braids.

I see Jackson at the end of the hallway.

"Thanks for telling me," she says before zooming off to talk to Jackson. She pulls him away. She's never been good at keeping things quiet – not even for a second. Really, they're both the same. Both of them can't keep their mouths shut. Except, I don't like it on him.

That's when I see Tallon walking through the same hallway. I walk quickly in his direction. "Tallon," I call.

He stops, turns and nods to me. "Yes, Miss Chosen?"

"Can I speak with you? Privately?"

He nods again. We walk into the adjoining empty classroom. He keeps a safe distance. I tell him what I know about the pregnancy.

His eyebrows furrow. "Impossible," he finally says after a long silence.

"I know – I still can't believe she would have cheated-"

"No, Miss Chosen, I mean a pregnancy would have shown up in the autopsy."

Now my eyebrows furrow. I feel the creases in my forehead deepen. "What does that mean then?"

"It could mean someone is tampering with the evidence."

"Get another autopsy done then, do something."

"I will," his face is stern, concentrated. Thoughtful. "Thankyou, Miss Chosen. I will return to you with anything I find."

.

.

.

Sylv is missing from the cafeteria table. That's the first thing I notice. I wonder if he even came to school at all today.

"Fancy seeing you here, Rose. We thought you dropped out," May says, big blue eyes particularly sparkly.

"I've been sick," I grumble.

"Don't come too close then," she laughs.

I roll my eyes, not in the mood for her hidden insults. I look around the room again for Sylv. He still doesn't show.

"Who you looking for?" Jess says, taking the seat next to May.

I watch the cogs turning in her mind. She knows I'm looking for Sylv. I haven't kissed him since she threatened me. I've kept my end of the bargain.

"Avalon. Where is she?"

Cliff and Jackson chat on the end of the table. Suddenly their ears perk up and they join the conversation.

Jackson sends me an evil glare. Of course she told him that it was me who spilled the beans about his weight loss.

"Why, so you can dog out another bro?"

I shake my head. "Don't start this."

"How's the murder mystery going, Scooby?" May asks condescendingly.

Usually, when the group collectively targets me, I don't care. In fact, I like the attention. It makes me feel a bit special that everyone's focussed on me. It's normally not hardcore, either. But Paige is a sensitive topic.

"Don't f*cking joke about Paige like that. She was your friend too."

"You're the one that's acting like bloody Nancy Drew. This isn't frickin' Law and Order."

I stand up too fast. I hit the table with my open palms so loudly that everyone in the room turns to face us.

"I said, don't f*ckikng joke about Paige," I spit out the words. I notice Sylv at the doorway of the cafeteria, far away, in the corner of my vision.

She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm just saying that – let's be real – you're not doing her any good. You should leave it to the professionals like we all agreed."

Jess chips in now and I want to stab her with my fork. "Stop being so immature, Rose. This is real life, not a movie."

I imagine myself growling and pouncing on her. "You're right. This is real life. And Paige was a real person – not just a character on a screen. She deserves more than your self-absorbed *sses are giving her."

May and Jess's expressions change from teasing to menacing. "You're not perfect, Rose. We know you shagged the teacher," May says.

My cheeks go red. Everyone in the cafeteria heard that.

Jess looks at me with her skinny tan face. And for a second the whole word freezes and I expect her to tell everyone about Sylv and me.

I start walking past them to leave but I hear Jess whisper under her breath, "running off to Sylv, are you?"

Then I can't hold back and I fly at her and May. Then we're pushing each other and shoving each other, and someone grabs a fistful of my hair and it's only been five seconds but someone with skinny arms pulls me back. I watch Sylv grab Jess, and Avalon and Jackson grab May. I turn around and Cliff is holding my arms. Skinny but strong. I wriggle but can't free myself. I send death glares in their direction.

Cliff finally releases me and I storm out of the cafeteria. Everyone's eyes follow me.

I'm never going back to that hell again. 

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