Natasha Romanoff oneshots (for Female Reader)

Nevermind

Warning: self harm, attempted suicide

Will they understand?
It's the question of a lifetime
Tryna find the right words
But what if they don't care
Never mind

You mentally think over what you would say. You would walk in, tell them, they would hug you, tell you that they loved you anyway and you would walk out again. Or, you would tell them, they would hate you, tell you to leave, get out and you'd be left alone- again.

Dealt with it myself
Hiding in the bathroom
Wearing long-sleeve shirts
Scared of what I might do
Never mind

You walk to the door, ready to face them, but at the last second you run back- hiding in your bathroom. The room brought back memories and you gingerly pull up your sleeve, revealing dozens of self-inflicted scars. Lightly, you trace your fingers over them, slowly increasing the pressure until it hurts so much that you want to scream.

No one seems to hear you 'til your loud
Then they call you crazy
Then they call you crazy

And you do. Accidentally. A knock rings out and Tony's worried voice sounds.

"Y/n? Are you ok?"

"What? Oh yeah. I just, uh, thought I saw a spider."

A slight chuckle escapes Tony's lips.

"Maybe you're just going crazy"

Quietly I battle with myself
Days are getting hazy
Days are getting hazy

Every nerve in your body urges you to tell him what's wrong, to ask him for help. But you don't, you can't.

No one seems to notice when you're down
Unless you are bleeding
Unless you are bleeding

You take a deep breath and regain your posture, preparing yourself to face the others. Walking out calmly and heading to the main room, you greet the team and grab some food. A loud sigh escapes your lips and you curse under your breath.

"You ok Y/n?" Steve asks.

"Yep. All good"

He nods and turns back to the fridge, grabbing some food. You just take an apple and quickly leave, walking back to your room.

But sometimes the worst ones are the ones
Are the ones you can't see
Are he ones you can't see

Tears start to leak out of your eyes and you rush to wipe them away. You succeed, until more begin to fall, this time at a much faster pace. Your knees buckle and you collapse onto the bed, your apple now lying, forgotten, on the floor.

Natasha walks past your door silently and hears your sobs. She freezes, unsure of what to do. She figures she should probably go in and help, but you might not want her there.

Never mind

You wouldn't want her there. She continues walking past your door, almost certain that she's made the wrong choice.

Do they understand?
I'm begging for an ally
Think I'm just confused
But I know that's nothing new
Never mind

You burst upright in bed, breathing heavily. Your hands were shaking and your hairs on end. The tears started falling again and this time you welcomed them. Silent screams poured out of your mouth, calling for help, for a friend.

Little do they know
The murder of my right brain
It still has me grieving
Take these pills for sleeping
My world is turning black and white