Chapter 31

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"Sweetheart, you need to get some rest." Mom urges, putting her hands on my shoulders to gently push me into the hospital bed.

"I'm not tired, Mom. You guys need to go home, it's late." I argue.

She sighs in defeat and takes a seat beside the bed. "I just want to make sure you're okay. You seem down ever since Levi left." I look away from her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm fine, alright?"

"Oh, please. Honey, I'm your mother. Don't think I don't know when your upset about a boy." She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows, challenging me to deny her accusation.

"Well, this time you're wrong." My phone rings and I see a picture of my best friend light up on the screen. "I have to take this. You should really leave, I know you're exhausted."

She nods, softly and gets out of the chair to wake up my father and Adam, who have passed out on the couch. Adam takes his leg off the arm and wipes the drool that was dripping down his chin. They all begin to collect their belongings after Mom explains to them what's happening.

"Hey, Mel." I greet, my voice coming out more dry than I wanted it to.

I hear a gasp. "Oh, no. What's wrong?"

"Jesus, if one more person asks me that I'm gonna cut my head off."

"Sorry, its just that you sound sad. Did something happen with Levi?" She asks.

My mom gestured that she's leaving, once I see her toss her bag over her shoulder. Adam walks over to me and ruffles my hair, making it even more messy than it already was. Dad kisses my forehead and they all leave out the room. I shoot a smile towards their receding frames.

I let out a deep breath. "He told me he loves me and that I should move back with my parents. He's taking my stuff there now."

"He told you he loves you?" She exclaims. "Did you say it back?"

"Melanie, I'm not even sure how I feel. Why would I say it back?"

"Come on, Kara. You and I, both, know that's bullshit. Levi loves you and you love him, just kiss and makeup already." I hear rustling in the speaker and then silence.

"...Mel?" I call out. "Mel, you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I went to get paper. Since you want to be difficult and not admit you want Levi, we'll make a pros and cons list of the guy."

I release a groan. "Ugh, this is stupid. It's not going to help me organize my feelings."

"Actually, that's exactly what it's supposed to do." She replies, swiftly. "Come on, we can start with the easy ones. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Levi?"

My eyes drift to the wall across from my bed, thinking. "Jeez, I don't know. Complicated. He's very complicated."

"Okay, good. That's one con, I guess. I need a pro." She demands.

"...Sweet. Levi can be really sweet when he feels like it. The things he doesn't realize he's doing, like, caring about whether I'm safe. I really like that about him." A small smile spreads on my face.

"God, woman. If that doesn't tell you what you feel about him, I don't know what will. But, let's continue, if you're still confused. Gimme' another con."

"My family doesn't like him. Especially Adam, he blames Levi for me being shot and just down-right despises him. My Dad isn't the biggest fan of him either. I don't know what they'd do if I decided to move back in with Levi, but I know it wouldn't be pretty." I explain to Melanie.

After a while, Mel and I come up with a list of a couple pros and cons and now we tally up the numbers of each.

"Okay, I tallied up 5 cons and 12 pros. Kara you have your answer, now run to him!" She shouts dramatically.

"Mel, it's not that simple. Yes, he excites me and yes, I'm in love with him but that's not enough for me to cause problems with my fa-." Mel cuts me off with a loud scream.

"Ahhh! I knew it! You loove him!" She proclaims.

My eyes widen as I notice what came out of my mouth. I didn't even register what came out of my mouth until I was almost done my sentence. "Oh my god."

"You already said it, Kara. Whether it was an accident or not, it's the truth and you know it." Melanie states.

"I didn't mean for that to come out. I was just talking fast and didn't understand what I was saying." I begin to say aloud, not sure if I'm talking to myself or to Mel.

"Stop making up excuses, just because you can't except the fact that you're in love with a gang leader. Just own it, Kar! You're not just hurting yourself by keeping it in, you're hurting Levi, too. You're hurting me." She sighs. "I just want to see you happy. Levi makes you happy. Sure, he doesn't have the safest lifestyle but, I'm sure that something you two can work out. He loves you and I know you love him back. Love is strange and can be a wonderful thing but if you ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, it can be painful as hell. Kara, I love you and I only want the best for you, so please do the right thing. I can't force you to embrace your emotions only you have that power."

"..Melanie." I reply softly.

"You don't have to say anything to me. Just get some rest and hopefully you'll have a clear head in the morning. Goodnight." The line goes silent and I slowly drag my phone down to the bed.

My head falls into my pillow and my eyes stare at the ceiling. I'm so tired but I can't sleep with him crowding my mind. He's the only thing keeping me awake.

Levi Garcia came into my life as the worst thing to ever happen to me. He forced me to live with him and took me away from my family. I had to join his gang and they taught me how to fight. He was unbelievably rude and impatient with me when we had first met. Yet, somehow during my time being with him he began to grow. He became, in a lot of ways, soft around me. Even though he probably views me as stubborn and irritating at times, I know he would ever, intentionally, hurt me.

Even though I never kissed him back, the kisses we shared were amazing. He always shows so much emotion, but mostly when he kisses me.

I take a big deep breath and close my eyes, attempting to calm myself down.

Levi Garcia drives me insane. I don't have every answer to what's going to happen and that okay. I don't know what his reaction would be if I said those three words to him. I don't know what Adam would think. If he'll hate me or not. My dad has hated his family for years, I have no idea how he's going to even believe this is real.

The only thing that I have, finally, come to comprehend is that...

..I love Levi Garcia. I'm in love with him. I'm in love with a gang leader.

I'm fucked.

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