𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋

thirty

CONVERSATION WITH: PETER

__________

PETER
hey pretty girl just
checking up on
you — it's been a
couple days and i
just wanna make
sure you're alright

PETER
i know molly said
you've been off
your phone i just
wanted to reach out

PETER
i don't know if it
makes you feel
any better but i
saw a yorkie
today with a
pink bow and i
thought you'd
like that

PETER
sorry if it's weird
i can leave you
alone

PETER
get some rest, hun

_______________

5 HOURS LATER

_______________

RYDER
pete?

PETER
ryder

PETER
what are you doing
up it's 5 am?

RYDER
i could ask you
the same thing

PETER
im patrolling

RYDER
it's 5 am?

PETER
can't sleep

RYDER
well that's gotta
be my fault
(not sent!)

RYDER
i can let you go
if you're busy

PETER
no no im not

PETER
slow night

PETER
are you alright?

RYDER
honestly? no im not

PETER
fuck

PETER
im so sorry

PETER
it's all my fault

PETER
i shouldn't have been
so vocal about it

PETER
if it freaks you out
i can give you space

PETER
the last thing i want
to do is make you
uncomfortable

PETER
if you're tired we can
talk some other time

RYDER
no no

RYDER
oh pete

RYDER
ive been taking these
couple of days to
really think about it

PETER
it's ok if you're breaking
up with me

RYDER
what?

PETER
i understand why

PETER
if you're breaking up
with me please just
say it

RYDER
peter im not breaking
up with you

PETER
oh my god thank
you thank you
thank you
(not sent!)

RYDER
i guess i just needed
time to figure out
what you loving me
really meant to me

PETER
it's alright if you
don't love me back

PETER
like i never wanted
to feel like you need
to say it back because
you don't have to

PETER
i don't want you
telling me something
so meaningful if
you don't mean it

RYDER
that's the thing

RYDER
ive said it before to
guys without really
feeling it because
they either forced
me to or i felt bad

RYDER
i don't know what
love is. i don't know
what it feels like

RYDER
but with you, i feel
so fucking good and
it's something ive
never felt with anyone
and honestly? that
fucking terrified me

RYDER
all my relationships ive
been in where ive said
i love you have ended
like shit, and im so
scared that it's a pattern

RYDER
where i say i love you
and immediately shit
hits the fan

RYDER
i just can't lose you
and im just so fuckin
scared of what real
love feels like because
i can't go back to
those relationships
i used to be in

RYDER
you mean too much
to me to leave like
those other guys
did

PETER
i wouldn't leave you

PETER
ryder you need to
believe me when i
say that i would
never hurt you

PETER
also i would never
pressure you into
saying something
you don't mean

PETER
it's alright if you
don't know if you
love me or not

PETER
i'd never judge you
for figuring out your
feelings

RYDER
i just don't know
what to do

RYDER
i don't want to break
up or be on pause

RYDER
i want to be with you

PETER
and i want to be with you

RYDER
i just don't know if
i can say it yet

PETER
that's fine hun

PETER
doesn't matter if you
hate or love me, i'll
always be here for you

PETER
you take all the time
you need

RYDER
are you sure?

PETER
mhm

RYDER
pete

PETER
im good

RYDER
peter

PETER
seriously im fine

PETER
im okay

RYDER
im so sorry

PETER
it's fine

RYDER
pete

PETER
seriously, ryder
it's alright

RYDER
i just needtime

PETER
i know

PETER
i'll be here if you
need me

RYDER
okay

RYDER
thank you

PETER
of course

PETER
you should get to
bed it's late

RYDER
yeah

RYDER
goodnight pete

PETER
(read)