The Selected

Come Clean

Present Day

Conrad and I stood just staring at each other for a few more moments before being interrupted by a knock at the door. I knew who it was before the door even opened, yet I still looked to find him standing there, dark hair disheveled and green eyes wide as he took me in, took in the room and everything around us. 

"I'll leave you to it," Conrad announced, letting Alexander in before leaving and shutting the door behind him. My eyes narrowed slightly. Traitor. 

Alexander took in a deep breath, drawing my attention to him like a magnet as he spoke, "Adelaide, I don't-- I don't understand why you don't want anything to do with me. Did I do something wrong, did I upset you? I don't think I did, but either way, we're mates, we're destined to be together, selected by Fate. Please, help me understand." 

His face was pleading, eyes searching every pane of my face as if in hopes that even the tiniest expression on my face would betray my thoughts and give him whatever answer he was seeking out. 

And looking at him, at the anguish and desperation on his face, I realized that I hadn't at all saved him by acting distant, but instead had put him through what likely felt like agony, like hell. I shook my head, "You don't understand, it has nothing to do with you, Alexander, it's all my doing." 

I pretended not to see the way his eyes shuttered when I spoke his name. Instead I focused on the ire that flashed across his face as he processed my words, "Really, Adelaide? You're going with the old 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit?" 

Letting out a strangled noise, I exclaimed while throwing my arms up, "It really is me!" 

"No it fucking isn't!" He roared, taking another step towards me, then another, "You want to run from me, hide from me, act like we're nothing to each other, fine. But you won't lie to me about why. This isn't only your decision, so you're going to tell me the truth." 

"I can't!" 

He didn't understand that it wasn't something I could just say, just come out with and tell him why I've never expected to even have a mate, let alone an Alpha, and how I was doing this to spare his feeling, to spare him from making such a difficult decision. 

"Bullshit!" 

He didn't believe me, didn't believe that it was really a personal fault of mine that kept me from him, and it only fueled my anger. The shock and numbness I'd felt from the message left by that psychotic hunter had also faded, and had been replaced with white hot rage, with the need for vengeance. All of that anger now swirled within me, mixing with the sadness and despair I felt whenever I thought too hard about not being with my mate. 

Alexander continued, "It's a bullshit excuse and you know it, Addie. Just tell me the truth!" 

It was the tipping point of all of those volatile feelings inside of me, breaking the dam and allowing pent up tears to begin spilling from my eyes. In a span of a few days, Alexander was seeing me cry for the second time and I hated it, hated that around him I was so vulnerable so soon. I barely knew him, and yet a subconscious part of me knew I could trust him completely. Maybe that was why it was so hard to get him to fully hate me. 

His hard face softened as he stepped towards me again, knuckles grazing my arm, "There's nothing you could possibly say to me that would make me not want you, Adelaide." 

"Even if I said I can't have children?" I mocked, a bitter and dry laugh escaping from my lips. It was only when he froze that I realized what I'd said. Tears still ran down my face as it fell, paling as it drained of blood. 

Had I truly just said that? Had I just unintentionally come clean to him about the reason that I refused to accept him? The scar that I couldn't learn to love? 

With the hand that was brushing my arm, he gently grabbed my elbow, looking down at me with his full attention, a serious expression on his face, "Is that true?" 

He asked for confirmation, but he already knew it was true. He saw the dread in my reaction at actually telling him what I hadn't meant to at all. So I nodded. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug, tucking my head under his chin. 

"Will you tell me about it?" He asked, his voice soft, his hand making soothing motions across my back. 

And because he already knew now, and he was holding me so tight and secure, I nodded again, "It happened when the hunter had me." Alexander stiffened, but his hand continued its circular path on my lower back. "On the day I escaped, he came in and spoke for the first time. He was raving about how we-- werewolves-- couldn't be allowed to repopulate, that the way to extinguish us all was at the root. I begged him not to, but--" 

My voice caught in my throat, and a sob escaped me. I felt Alexander's lips press to the top of my head before he gently encouraged me, "Take your time." 

So I did. I let the feeling of panic, of that long ago fear, surpass me. I waited for it to mostly fade, before I continued again, "He carved me up, slicing and slashing like a maniac. I wanted to die that day the most. I wanted him to carve me up to the point where I couldn't heal. I wished he would just let me die." 

Those were words I had never admitted to anyone. Not Doctor Melinda, not Conrad, no one. But here I was, telling Alexander. In response, he held me closer. 

"That day he left the dagger on the table, and that's how I escaped once I'd recovered a bit from all the pain," I explained. "When I got back home, the doctor, she saw the damage and told me, confirmed it, that it was too much of a mess and that... that I'd never be able to get pregnant." 

I finished and he still held me, still comforted me with his presence, with his touches. He pulled away from me after a few moments and I braced myself for it, ready for him to tell me he couldn't have a mate that couldn't produce an heir for him, couldn't help him make the next Alpha of this pack. 

Instead he cupped my face with both hands, his face genuine as he said softly, "I don't need kids, Addie. I just need you." 

And as he leaned in slowly, his lips touching mine for the very first time, I could have sworn fireworks exploded and flowers bloomed within me.