The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

Tunnel Vision (2)

So that's it? It's over.
I won't fight it, I've tried. 
It's alright.. 

I walked into class, third week in. It seemed alright. I decided not to listen to music, so I stared out the window. It was fall, cold rain was pouring. Like usual, I was alone with my own thoughts. Maybe I should be used to it by now. 

I sighed and waited for the bell to ring. Classmates piled in, they had already found their friends. It felt like I didn't really belong anywhere, I'm fine with that. I think. 
Or I just don't care.

I just didn't wanna be here. 
Everybody already knew each other's names but it felt like I only knew Katsuki's. It only feels right if I call him that instead of the nickname I gave him. 

I feel so empty but yet so scared. 

♡♡♡

Even though class had just started I scribbled in my notebook waiting for it to end, not paying attention to any movement around me, everything else was a background noise. I could only focus on my thoughts and when I didn't want the rain tapping on the window. People's conversations became nothing but words mixed into meaningless sentences that I could barely hear. 

I didn't know what I was drawing either, it didn't matter. Kac.. Katsuki walked into class, really late, and sat down in front of me, perfect assigned seats right? 

I flicked my pencil back and forth putting my head down. It was going to  be another dreadful day with nothing but stress, I knew it already. I'll go home and end up crying or just staring at homework, trying to listen to music for it to only remind me of him. I wonder how he feels. Does he care at all? Am I just something in his past? 

♡♡♡

I was right, another agonizing day. Stuck in this loop of sadness. It was like I was just the annoying character in his story, I could never write my own. 

I tried to plug my headphones in, but then someone tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped, and part of me hoped it was.. Kacchan. 

I remembered that I can't call him that and I turned around.

I didn't know the boy's name, but I knew he was a classmate of mine. Obnoxiously bright red hair, and a bright smile. I didn't understand it completely but I dismissed it. "You're Deku, right?" "I-Izuku Midoriya." I didn't like being called that, "Oh, sorry." I continued walking and he walked beside me. "I'm Kirishima, Eijirou Kirishima. I don't know if you already knew that." he laughed awkwardly. I forced a smile and nodded. 

"W-Well, uh, do you have any friends here?" I shook my head in embarrassment, "U-Uh, well do you wanna.. come to a movie with me and my friends?" he pointed back at a group of excited people, they stumbled over each other and waved. I smiled slightly at the way they moved, and without thinking I said "Yeah, okay." "Great! Let's go now!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me along as the others caught up. 

We talked the entire way, mostly them. But they introduced themselves. Mina, Kaminari, and Sero. They seemed pretty nice. And I needed another distraction.

It was a movie I've never heard of before, but I didn't really mind. Maybe it was something new to become interested in. I hope so. Everything I used to like didn't seem to matter much anymore.

Ever since then everything seemed less beautiful as it was before.

We sat down in the dark theater, Kirishima sitting beside me and Mina on the other side. The movie started, and I seemed to pay a lot more attention to it than to all my new friends talking. Of course you'd assume it was a story about a superhero, something I'd love. But no, it was a love story. I didn't expect them to want to see it as much as I did, but I seemed to be really interested in it, I think they noticed. 

♡♡♡

Once it was over I was thinking of it, how real it was. And they were talking about dinner. "We should go to the park and get pizza or something," I heard Kaminari say, "But, it's raining?" I replied without thinking, Kirishima said "So? I like the rain." "Besides, it's barely drizzling." Mina pointed out as we walked out of the theater, I was still in my school uniform. But it didn't matter. 

It got late earlier since it was getting colder, we couldn't see the sunset from all the dark clouds. But I kind of liked it, it was cooler than the burning summer and it smelled nice. I hadn't done anything nice in what seemed like such a long time. Time always went by so slowly, with and without him. 

Mina came back with food as the rest of us joked and talked on a play structure meant for kids, it was wet though and they tried not to slip off. It was really funny. 

Kirishima tried to push Sero off, and then Kaminari tried to push Kirishima off. I watched from the ground, smiling, as Mina showed up and told them they'd get hurt. 

♡♡♡

Sero left first, Mina then got picked up and Kaminari got tired too. 

"So it's only us left, huh?" Kirishima smiled, "I can walk you home?" "Are you sure? It's really cold." It was starting to get dark, and the rain was coming down harder than earlier. We were walking towards the apartment complex I lived in, and it started raining really hard. 

We ran towards shelter, and stayed there for a few minutes. He broke the silence with a laugh, "Seems like something out of a book doesn't it?" I didn't think much of it, and I nodded with a smile. My mom texted me and told me she was picking me up. 

"D-Do you want a ride?" "U-Uh, no, it's okay. I live near here anyways." He smiled. "O-Oh, alright," I swung my legs back and forth awkwardly as I waited for my mom. 

When she showed up, I smiled and waved goodbye to him, and got in. 

Today didn't seem half as bad as I thought it was going to be.