Never Run

006 ::: Never Feel

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I was numb.

I was numb to the woman that was trying to help me. I was numb to my emotions. I was numb to the entire fucking world. I didn't want to be mated to one of those beasts. I didn't want to have to interact with them. Hell, I didn't want to be alive around them. Why couldn't they just kill me instead? They had already planned on it. Just do it.

Assholes.

Once I had heard my unfortunate fate, I remained on the cold tiled floor allowing hot tears to roll down my face. I was angry and my tears were the perfect example of my frustration; I had always cried when I was upset--others punched walls, I cried my eyes out.

I fought the urge to rip my hair from my head and scream until my throat exploded. My thoughts raced through my head as I tried to piece together an escape plan, but it wasn't long before I gave in. Even if I had escaped, they would be able to find me in no time. When I finally had enough energy and will to crawl back to my bed, I closed my eyes and shut myself off from the world.

The sudden change in my behavior had everyone one edge, especially the nurse, Gladyss. Her hands frantically grazed over my body, stretching my eyelids while flashing lights into my eyes, checking vitals, and trying to get me to register something. But I couldn't. If I checked back into my body then I would feel the despair and desperation I had been prepared to part with at my execution. I didn't want to let those feelings back in. I couldn't.

Finally, I had put two and two together and came to the realization that the man that had lunged at me was the same man that had the conversation outside my room, and that man was none other than King Xaler. I think that is why I am so completely and utterly heartbroken at the fact that I am a mate to a wolf.

King Xaler was an alpha and alphas need their mates. They would become weak and a hollow shell without their mate, sooner or later dying from the pain. Now that he's found me, he will never let me go.

It was different for humans than it was for werewolves when it comes to mates; werewolves feel the attraction, humans don't. Even with being marked, humans never feel the pull of a mate resulting in humans being incredibly depressed within the forced mate relationship, at least it was forced for us. I can't recall a single case where a human actually fell in love with one of the creatures. They were strung along, forced into everything that comes along with being a mate to a wolf: marking, breeding, birthing.

I shuddered at my final thought.

The last thing I wanted to do was bring a child into this world. Not with them. Not with those cruel monsters controlling everything.

Traumatizingly enough, if the child a human bore to a wolf wasn't a werewolf themselves then they would be terminated. The thought of having my own flesh and blood ripped away from me and murdered was sickening. They would test the newborn, cutting into its flesh to see if it would heal quickly and on its own. If they did, good. If they didn't, they would die. I couldn't let that happen. As much as I wanted to wrap my head around the idea of how they could be so cruel, I couldn't. It was of no use anyway. Trying to get inside their minds and understand their motives would only drive humans insane.