i wish we could go back.

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this is dedicated to seayceetings & cathyliz  <3

there isn't much to say before you start reading except for that i'm sorry :)

- kami 🌻



Kaycee's knees were pulled into her chest, tears wetting her cheeks as Sean entered the room - puffy eyed, lines scratching the place his smile used to hang from his lips.

"This isn't working out, Kayc."

"How are we going to tell everyone, how are we supposed to tell our fans, our families? No one had any idea this would happen." Kaycee balanced her chin on her knee, unable to meet his eyes.

"I don't know." Sean whispered, his voice breaking as he took a hard look at the girl sitting in front of him. Her hands trembled against her leg, an earthquake erupting in her bones. "Maybe we can fix this, maybe we just need more time."

That's when she lifted her face, cheeks seared with a fiery red, her puffy eyes widdening as a sad laugh left her lips. "Our time already ran out, Sean."

"Everything we've accomplished, everything we worked for, its over - just like that?"

"We can't keep doing this, Sean!" Kaycee cried, her voice scratched and raw as the tears fell from her lashes like rain from a spring rose. "We tried, we tried to fix things, to work things out, but the truth is things will never go back to the way they were and there's nothing we can do to change that!"

"It's like you just want this all to be over already, like you've been waiting for this to come because you know what Kaycee if you didn't want to be my partner or my best friend anymore you could have just told me, but instead I wasted five fucking years being with someone who has no dedication to the partnership anymore."

"Stop blaming everything on me, don't act like you didn't ignore my calls for a week, skipping our practices so you could practice the piece with someone else." Sean's eyes widened, his head sinking into his sweatshirt. "I'm not fucking dumb, Sean, you have no idea how much that hurt me, and I never said anything because I didn't want to damage the partnership."

"But I guess it wouldn't have mattered, right Sean?"

They both sat in silence, the stillness swallowing them - waiting for the other to speak up. Maybe things were going to end either way, what if their partnership was never supposed to last.

It was only a matter of time, their ticking time bomb had finally reached its end.

"I'm sorry." Sean tremulous voice dissipates from his tongue. "I'm so sorry, Kaycee."

"It's not your fault, Sean." Kaycee scooter over beside him, caressing his face as he leaned into her chest. "We both could have done better."

They both sat at the edge of the bed, arms tangled together, tears rolling down their cheeks like wax from a burning candle - their flame extinguishing. Kaycee reaches over to her beside table, her fingertips dancing along the wooden frame - her fingers pressed against the glass as she swipes her thumb over the memory that began to float farther and farther into the back of her mind. "Sean and Kaycee."

"Sean and Kaycee." Sean replies wobbly, taking the picture in his hands. "That was the begginning of our future."

Kaycee turns back to the young man besides her, seeing a glimpse of the sixteen year old boy she spent all her nights practicing in his garage, but it was only for a second - because before she knew it, he was gone.

It was no doubt that they had grown up.

But as they grew up, they grew apart.

"We accomplished so much together." Kaycee takes a deep breath, trying her hardest to not let the tsunami in her eyes escape. "That was our first class collab class."

Sean looks to her where her fingers were pointing, on the wall, a picture of the two sitting face to face - the widest smiles breaking out across their faces as they stare longingly into each others eyes as if there was whole universe only they could see. "I remember how anxious you were, and I didn't know what to do so I remember just asking everyone to sit silently and listen to the music while staring into their partners eyes..."

"You did that to calm me down?"

"Yeah, and honestly I would take any reason to stare at you like that back then." Sean chuckles, ignoring the eyeroll from the girl beside him.

"Remember that?" Kaycee giggles, using her sleeve to hide the tint of embarassment spread across her speckled cheeks.

"Opposite Hand Drawing Challenge | XTRA Sean & Kaycee." Sean gently tugs the picture from the wall before tracing the wood with his index finger. "Mine is still hung up too."

Kaycee's eyes light up before running to her dresser, pulling out two cloth like materials - blindfolds.

After gently tying it around his head, Sean brushes away her hair, wisking it to the side as he takes the fabric from her hands, and carefully ties it behind her head.

The two erupt in laughter, bumping into each other and objects in the room as they try to remember the steps. "Sean, that's my foot!" Kaycee yelps, crashing into Sean once again until they both collapsed on the bedroom floor.

"We really were quite the dyanmic duo, weren't we?"

"We really were." Kaycee hums, turning over onto her side. "Can you promise me one thing?"

Sean nods, his fingers locked around her index finger, tracing small circles against her skin. "Just because we aren't partners anymore, promise me we won't forget all the things we accomplished, all the fun and opportunies we were given."

"We won't because we will always be. "

Sean and Kaycee

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