I'm scared of the sea. I can't help but think of the danger it brings. The width and depth seem forever. But I know that someday, I'm going to swallow all my fears and sail into that immense body of menace. Because I have to find him. I have to see...
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"You are the woman who sank the Pirate City to the depth of the ocean and the sea of blood that replaced it is in your hands."
The accusation hit me with an impact of a wrecking ball. I thought I was prepared for it. I thought I had conditioned myself enough to receive such a blow. I guessed there was no preparation and conditioning that could strengthen me against this kind of attack.
"Isn't that what you wanted to hear?" Captain Rowaen asked.
After I rested for the remaining hours of the morning due to the exhaustion from the match I had with Captain Augusta, I decided to meet Captain Rowaen for an afternoon tea. He didn't reject the invitation this time and I found him waiting for me in one of the small balconies of the Borgian castle.
"Is that what you're thinking all this time?" I asked him back.
Part of me was scared of what he was about to say. I wasn't the type of a person who would wash her hands just to come clean out of a horrible tragedy. Lots of people died during the fall of the Pirate City and I would never be that heartless to belittle their sacrifices and death.
"And what would you do if that's exactly what's on my mind? Are you going to try changing it? And what if it's really your fault after all? Are you going to make prayers with your Priestesses and send thousands of flowers to the sea for the pirates' souls to find peace?"
"I... I..." As I looked for an answer to his questions, I concluded that I wasn't really prepared for this conversation. What could I have done if Captain Rowaen confirmed that it was my fault? Should I add the fall of the Pirate City to the long list of crimes of my bloodline?
"I... I deeply apologize for what happened, Captain Rowaen." And in the end, that was all I could say. I was about to kneel on the floor and asked for forgiveness when he suddenly grabbed my arm and prevented me from doing so. He waited until I was sitting back on my chair and staring silently at the untouched cups of tea that were resting on the table.
"It was never your fault, Lady Primrose," he finally said which made me looked up at him. His face was solemn; there was no hatred in his voice. "We're pirates and they're the West Land's fleet. It was bound to happen. If it didn't happen that time, then the clash would still happen in the future and the Pirate City would still fall considering that we've been careless for a long time. You're just a significant personality who was caught in the middle of a pirate war."
Somehow, his words lifted a little weight in my chest. But I still felt saddened by the deaths from the tragedy. "But just like what you've said, I was a significant personality and there must have been something I could have done to stop it –"
