𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆

二十

3rd pov
Jaehyun focus

Jaehyun is in front of his high school, back resting against the front gate. He is waiting for Yuta to go to their first class of the morning together.

Alone at the gate, waiting for his best friend, Jaehyun thinks about what happened last night. He hates how Taeyong looked at him, in his eyes it was a mix of sadness, fear, but a lot of curiosity too. And Jaehyun hates it.

He hates how pretty Taeyong's eyes are.

'How could a fucking faggot be this beautiful? He doesn't deserve it.'
Jaehyun thinks, repeating sentences about 'how much he hates that fucking faggot' in his head, to keep him unbothered while waiting.

«Morning early bird!»
Yuta exclaims when he comes near Jaehyun.

«Morning heavy sleeper. We're almost late and I don't want to have detention again, so will you be kind enough to hurry the fuck up?»
Jaehyun growls, clearly not in a god mood.
Yuta sighs but says nothing and silently walks by his side.

They are now sitting at their usual desks and they start taking notes of what the teacher is saying.
Suddenly, the teacher is stopped by knocks on the door.

It's Doyoung, the school's nurse.
Jaehyun knows him pretty well, their families are closed to each other since they were kids, even more since Jaemin is sick.

«Hello, I'm sorry to interrupt but I have a sad but important announcement to tell.»
The bunny boy looks around to make sure everybody's listening.
«I wanted you to know that your classmate Lee Taeyong did a suicide attempt, but he's alive and he's still recovering in the hospital.»

Jaehyun feels his head becoming dizzy.
Taeyong tried to kill himself.
Jaehyun hates him down deep to his very guts, but the thought of suicide scared Jaehyun. He couldn't think of suicide without feeling dizzy and sick.

His little brother is struggling so hard just to breath and they are really people out there who takes their own lives away?
He just couldn't understand.

But now it's different.
Jaehyun is full of a wave of guilt.
He knows why Taeyong attempted to end his life.
It's because of him, and it's making his sick. He doesn't want to take someone else life like that.

He hates Taeyong like he never hated someone, but he doesn't want to have blood on his hands, he doesn't want to be the one who takes his life away, he just doesn't have the right to do that.

Jaehyun was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear that Doyoung started to talk again.

«If you struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts, feel welcome to come to me to talk about it. I am here for you, to listen and to help you. Don't take these things thoughtlessly.
I'm going to let you continue your class, but if you're too shock and need a time to recover of this announcement, feel free to come in the infirmary.»
Doyoung bows respectfully before going out of the room.

The teacher starts again to talk, like nothing happened. The class is full of whispers, everyone telling their theories on the suicide attempt of Taeyong.
Jaehyun turns his head to look at Yuta who just has his head down, empty eyes looking at his desk.

Jaehyun puts his hand up to call the teacher.
«I need to go to the infirmary please.»
He asks, ignoring the worried gaze of Yuta.

The teacher gives him his agreement and Jaehyun rushes to the infirmary, not caring about Yuta who calls out him behind.
He walks fast for a minute in the school's hallway before knocking on the infirmary door.
After a «Come in!» from the other side of the door, he opens it, come in and closes it behind him.

Doyoung looks up and his face turns to a surprised look.
«Hey Jaehyun, what can I do for you?»
Doyoung asks a bit unsure, confused about Jaehyun's presence in here.

«It's my fault, I made him do it.»
Jaehyun quickly says before blocking his breath again.

Doyoung thinks for seconds before understanding.
Jaehyun is talking about Taeyong.

«Sit down please.»
He says, careful.
«What do you mean by that Jaehyun?»

«I bully Taeyong, it's my fault if he tried to kill himself.»
Jaehyun falters out, his eyes flowing in panic.

Doyoung stand up to go sit on his desk, in front of Jaehyun.
«Why do you bully him?»

«He's a faggot, he's disgusting.»
Jaehyun spits harshly.

«But you are a faggot too Jae.»
Doyoung spits at him back, starting to lose his calm.

«I AM NOT A FAGGOT DOYOUNG. I'M NOT DISGUSTING LIKE HIM.
SICHENG AND I WAS JUST AN ERROR. I'M NOT A FAGG.»
Jaehyun yells at Doyoung, beside himself.

Doyoung takes the two forearms of Jaehyun and gently tells him to calm down.

«Did something happen last night Jaehyun?»
Doyoung demands, wanting to know how much Jaehyun is involve in the suicide attempt of Taeyong.

«Two days ago, I get stabbed.»
He marks a pause as Doyoung's mouth opens in shock.
«I was bleeding a lot and I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. I couldn't die like that, Jaemin needs me. But I didn't want to go to the hospital. I remembered the address of Taeyong, it was the closest of where I was, so I went to his house.
I begged him to let me in. And he helped me. He disinfected the wound before stitching it up.
I fell asleep on his couch, with him by my side. I left before he woke up and acted like nothing happened. I didn't even thank him.
The threads were hurting at the edges of the wound so last night I begged him again to change them for me.
And I dunno how he ended up crying, knees on his bathroom's tiles.
I ran away after he finished.
I sent him a message to remembered him how much I hate him.
I didn't mean to kill him.»
Jaehyun find it hard to breath now. He closes his eyes, wanting to feel less dizzy.

«Okay Jaehyun, I want you to take deep breaths please, blocking your lungs is just going to make you feel dizzier.»
Doyoung rubs his hand on Jaehyun shoulder -the one who doesn't get stabbed- and takes deep breaths with him, showing him how to breath properly.

«I'm going to see Taeyong at the hospital, he's going to need my help if he wants to come back to school.»
Doyoung tells as he stands up.
«I think you should go home, Jae. Go take your bag in your classroom and get some sleep at your home, I'm going to tell you're sick.»
Doyoung pats Jaehyun back before they both go out, taking different ways.

Doyoung and Jaehyun know each other since they were 5 years old. Their family lived in the same neighborhood and their moms were good friends.
Since Doyoung is older, they're not that close. But they still know each other pretty well, and Jaehyun trusts Doyoung like no one else.

Jaehyun turns his phone off to avoid Yuta's worried texts and calls.
As soon as he comes home, he goes under his bed cover, wrapping up in the sheets, and despite his head heavy of worries, he manages to fall asleep, at 10AM, exhausted by the announcement about Taeyong suicide attempt.

It's affecting him more than it should, and it's making Jaehyun sick.

————————————————
bonjour,

hey guys, hope you're all fine!
a chapter with a Jaehyun focus, what a miracle!
what do you think about it?

i like how i wrote this chapter, i exactly don't know why specifically but i very like this chapter! hope you like it too.

please take care of your mental health, it's important.
i love yall

anyway,
next chapter next sunday , please look forward to it!

- 𝔃𝓪𝓬𝓴