ICARUS - Hawks x Reader

THIRTY ONE: (H)armed

"Well, weren't you in top form today, Mr. Number Two..."

My skin crawled as though it were home to thousands of fireants when that voice met my ears, but I somehow managed to remain composed. Turning, I could see his silhouette lurking in the shadows of the alleyway.
"That was completely different to what we had discussed..." I stated firmly, struggling to level out my anger.
"Is that so?"

I hate you...

Completely turning my body, I raised my weapon; my last remaining remige from my scorched wings, and held it up towards where I thought his throat to be.
"I was hoping we'd get along better than this, Dabi..." At last, he stepped out of the shadows, cautiously eyeing the sharp plume pointing towards him.
"Oh? I thought you only had those piss weak feathers left..?" He nodded to my back, where my snack-sized wingletts poked from my jacket.

Smirking aggressively, I tilted my head, lifting my chin to assert some kind of non-existent dominance over the villain.
"Well I can't exactly meet with a liar unarmed."

Liar. Cheater. Murderer.

"What the fuck, Dabi? The plan was tomorrow, at the factory on the coast, not in the middle of the damn city!" I bared my teeth in threat despite the sweat drizzling down the back of my neck. "Not to mention that Nomu...It was on a completely different level from the ones we've seen so far! I'd prefer it if you'd tell me this kind of shit in advance..."

He mirrored my expression perfectly, but it looked so much more chilling upon his marred face, staples glinting in the limited light.
"Oh, that's simple...I changed my mind! Did I forget to mention it would be a test of the Nomu's abilities? Aw, my bad." Dabi took a daring step forward, and I lifted my weapon until it very nearly grazed his jugular, willing my arm to remain steady.

Come on...Calm down...You're no match for him right now...She can't lose anything else...Don't be an idiot, for once in your miserable life!

"I wasn't the only one who acted outside of the plan, now was I? I remember, clear as day, you saying that you'd just send some random strong guy. Who'd you send, again? Oh, yeah...The number one hero! Doesn't exactly make for a good test, now does it? Did that ever occur to you?"

Vomit was slowly but surely creeping up my throat, but I just kept on ramming it back down, like my body was an overpacked suitcase.
"Well, hey, it did some serious damage to the number one, so you should be happy. I stayed true to my promise. You're the bastard who went back on his word..."

Enji...I'm sorry...

Dabi didn't seem to buy what I was saying, staring me dead in the eyes with that stormy cerulean gaze.
"But it's even more unreasonable to expect I'd just trust the number two hero right off the bat. So this was also a test, to see if you were trustworthy." Using his finger, he pushed the point of my feather aside, tilting his head and curling those leathery lips of his. " Can you tell me why today's little event got resolved without a single casualty? It's hard to believe that someone who supposedly sympathized with our cause and requested to cooperate with us would act in such a way."

He went to walk right past me, crossing through the only source of light to the shadows on the other side, and I couldn't move. My body was frozen by not only fear, but by the regret and guilt beginning to fester and bubble in my chest. As he stepped to my side, intending on continuing on his way, I took a deep breath.

"One."

Dabi paused, glancing down to me out of the corner of his eye.
"What was that?" I knew it was the worst possible thing, mentioning what had happened. It was so personal, and so fresh, not to mention dangerous, but I couldn't let his conscience get away without tarnish, if he even had one.

"One casualty, Dabi...My unborn daughter..." I whispered, the words slithering through my lips like a venomous snake as I turned my head to look into the eyes of the person I hated the most in the world, second to only myself. "My wife was right there...I couldn't leave her alone again...but then you went ahead and jumped the gun...and by the time I found out she'd gotten...hurt...it was too late..."

I hate you.

"Even so, I still have to keep up appearances on my end...The more confidence everyone has in me, the more valuable the informa-" It was like a steel barrier slammed down and cut my words off from the source when I felt a torrid hand come down upon my shoulder.
"Don't'cha think it was probably for the best..?"

What..?

"That...what was for the best..?" I asked cautiously, sweltering in my costume as my villain 'ally' leaned in just a little closer. Dabi wet his blistered lips, upturning his tongue and swiping it across his teeth.
"That it's gone. I mean, feels bad, buddy, but when you run around in a shiny cape playing hero...families become just as expendable as you do...Better now than a few years down the track, when you'd actually know the thing, hmm?" My blood chilled to ice as he patted my shoulder, and I could no longer hold my body back from shaking.

I'll kill you...

"But that wife of yours...mmmm...that sexy little sidekick number...Now, that's some quality collateral, right there..." The sick bastard adjusted himself in his pants as he spoke about (Y/N), and I almost cut him to pieces then and there. I would have if I wasn't paralysed with disgusted realisation. "There's nothing to worry about though, right? I mean, if you're really on my side there's no need to think about me spit roasting her...in both senses of the term..."

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

My tongue was aching from having it rammed against the insides of my clenched teeth, and my exhalation sounded more and more like a mimic of Morse code as the seconds passed, but I couldn't do it. Was I that much of a coward? I risked my life day in and day out for my country, but I couldn't do it for the woman I loved in that very moment? Had I finally exceeded that limit everybody had warned me about?

She'd be better off if I died here tonight...

Before I had the chance to flick my wrist; to drive my weapon straight through that heartless chest of his, his lips were almost touching the shell of my ear, draining every feeling from my body except raw fear.
"If you're a good little birdy, I might be nice and leave a trail of breadcrumbs that lead you to the boss..." He whispered, and I could hear his sick, twisted smirk make his staples buckle.

"...Fly along, birdy...Your damsel looked like she was in distress..."

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***KEIGO TAKAMI IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NAME, THANK YOU, HORIKOSHI, FOR EXTENDING MY LIFESPAN WITH THIS WONDERFUL NEWS!

Okay, anyway, I played around a bit with this scene, as you can tell. I love Dabi, but I play him off as a good person at heart in a lot of my other stories...so I thought, why not just throw the whole heart out for this one?

I abandoned the two other stories I was going to work on today the second I was given the news of the name reveal, and I'm not even sorry. Plus, I've been working on an angsty Hawks animatic that I will NOT GIVE UP ON!
It includes a Hamilton song, manga spoilers and really bad art***