Hurts so good

13.How it all started...

Jasper's P.O.V

19 years ago

''it will be just like a house Jas'' my mom reassured me as she shooed me out of my room.

''a house of troubled boys mom. How convenient'' I said as I waved my room goodbye, who knew when I'd be back.

''you'll love it sweety'' 

''mom I'm gay not a rapist or murderer. I'm not a monster.'' I said

''I know that but your father doesn't and he's the one who suggested all this''

Exasperated I get in the car and wave everyone goodbye as the driver drove off.

Nothing was wrong with me!

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Everything was wrong with me.

How would all the other kids be? I wondered. will they accept me as gay or would they cast me out as my parents did? I'm 17 for crying out loud, I know the gay cannot be removed from me. It's part of me, it's who I am so whoever thinks anything other than that fuck them including my parents.

Maybe id even find my true love in that house and live happily ever after with them, but on that though I wonder what the other kids were there for? they said in their rules we weren't allowed to ask but I'm a curious person. Will, there be murderers god I hope not. 

I had arrived and was welcomed better than I expected. The house was huge.

''One more thing'' I looked at the boy named mark who was showing me around '' Stay as far away as possible from Tanaka'' he said as he left my room

''Whos Tanaka?'' I asked confused

''you'll know'' he smiled before he closed the door.

laying on my bed I was so confused, how was I supposed to stay away from someone I didn't even know who they are? and the bigger question was, why was I supposed to stay away from them?

well all that was answered as I couldn't look away from the boy that was sitting two sits away in front of me during dinner. He looked a year or two older than me but his aura said a whole different thing. He had this thing about him that just told you to stay away. He was an older man trapped in a boy's body, the way he moved the way he demanded respect without even saying a word, the way he made you want to apologize even though you didn't even do anything wrong and last but not least, the way he was manly handsome.

I should look away, I know but I can't. there's something about him that's pulling me to him, something I can't explain but it's there. 

''I told you to stay away from him'' Mark whispered beside me

''why '' I was genuinely curious. Why was everyone terrified of this boy-man, why was it that the moment he entered the dining room everyone just got quiet even though they had been laughing and joking before? why was it that no one was even daring to look at this gad-made handsome face? And someone tell me why I'm whispering even though I'm thinking all this in my head, it's not like he can read my mind.

I am consumed and I know that can't be right, this boy-man is a danger to my being but danger can also be managed. Let me be more clear, Tanaka is the most handsome man that will ever walk the earth, like if you take a full moon and lightning, mix them together and turn them into a man maybe you'll have an idea of what the man I'm talking about looks like. He made you want to wear armor because he screamed war and Lord did I want to battle. 

''Staring is rude'' My will broke at the sound of his voice, it was nothing unique but it was the person it was coming from that did it. ''Still staring'' he added