My Nightmare Crush

22|| I knew this picture

This was a bad idea. This was such a bad, bad idea kept frantically echoing in my mind as the car gently pulled into to front yard and that house I've been avoiding for so long stood by my window. I swallowed the knot of insecurity  that laced my throat as the gravel made the wheels purred 'til they came to a stop. The  engine was shut down right after and silence filled the cabin.

Why did I ever agreed to do this?

For some reason, Connor's words from earlier had sunk into my skull, preaching as to why I 'keep up with this shit'. By shit meaning holding grudges against certain people. I don't know why but I felt horrible after that. Remembering each thing both Brett and Norah had done recently. I mean. They mean good. Nor in the best ways but I know they where trying. Was it really worth it pushing them away over and over?

Norah found me with Macy right before our next period after lunch and forgiving her was just as easy as breathing. The moment I hugged her she didn't hesitate a second and wrapped her arms around me back. She'd apologized again and again, but after how she steped fro me before Noel and how she'd always got my back I couldn't but dismiss it. I'd been frustrated with her, but indeed I've always known I couldn't get upset at her forever.

Brett, on the other hand... that was hard.

I still didn't know if I could fully trust him. He'd been on my back for years until now. But then again ever since he'd been back he'd done nothing but be... there. Teasing, yes, a lot. But also... sweet? It was hard to think this about him after everything but lately all our interactions had been kinda like that. He'd been... like walking on eggshells now that I think of it backwards.

Realizing that was confusing but if I thought back at it, I couldn't think of a thing he'd done to hurt me. Not one.

It made the chills get higher whenever I cross looks with him.

Not one.

How could it be?

I'd been so confident about my dislike for him but suddenly... it seemed like fading away.

Economy was strange this time. The extreme tension I'd been feeling whenever he was near me wasn't that strong anymore. Or at least not in a bad way but shifted into something slightly different. I couldn't exactly pointed out the change nor name it but there it was. Like electricity dancing in my skin from our close proximity all across the double desk. Maybe I should really had a talk and solve it all up once and for all.

So when our next work was ordered, this time to prepare an exposition of how we were holding on with our project, I didn't felt this clenching in my chest from before. I didn't fear for my integrity nor worried about him messing this up for me. Now I get that, what got him being mean to me in the past, for whatever reason it wasn't anymore. And it wouldn't be back, at least not anytime soon.

Since this time we needed to make a presentation and all we decided the library wasn't an option anymore and so here we were.

In front Ryder's place. A lovely two story house in quiet movie-like street. They were like the american dream come true.