Riptide (a camren fic)

Chapter 17: stevia sweet.

A/N: I know. I know

.

.

Chapter 17: stevia sweet.

.

It's silent for the majority of the car ride home. The only sound that permeates the quiet atmosphere is the low hum of the engine. Each soft purr matches the slow breathing that falls from Camila's lips.

Her mouth is sore, still buzzing from the feel of Lauren's kisses. But she barely registers the sensation, too preoccupied with the way everyone is actively avoiding eye contact.

Lauren doesn't turn to look at her from the passenger seat, instead she continues to stare out the window. They all seem to follow suit. The occasional flash of street lights hits the sides of their faces each time they pass, exacerbating the somber mood.

Camila feels her heart sink. The inadequacy spills over in her chest, building in the same way the tears threaten to. She didn't mean for this to happen. She didn't mean for any of it to happen.

It was supposed to be a good time, a check off her list. It was supposed to be a way for them all to reconnect. To be friends - finally.

Her eyes trace over the small view of Ally through the rear view mirror. There's an uncharacteristic crease between her brows that feels like a personal offense. Like Camila is the exact cause of its existence.

She should have known. She should have known better.

Guilt wells up inside of her as she then glances at Normani sitting beside her. Her face is turned away, but Camila notices the rigid posture. She sees the way Normani's hands curl into tight fists in her lap. She can only imagine the nails digging into her palms.

Dinah's voice echoes in the back of her head at the sight. Take her hand.

But she hesitates. It's a long and difficult struggle, trying to force her own hands to move. But they don't. They remain weighted and frozen in her lap.

The shame washes up on her the moment the startling realization hits her. She's still that person with the unfathomable inability to connect to anyone. Even those who were her friends. Especially those who were her friends.

Who was she kidding? A night out? A good time?

She's still submerged looking at everything underwater.

Camila blinks rapidly. Her eyes burn, as she tries to force the tears from building.

No.

No. This time - it's different.

She's not submerged anymore. She's just sucked up into the cool tide just to be spat back out again because the sea's finally realized she doesn't belong here anymore.

Jettisoned for her helplessness.

Abandoned for her failures.

Rejected by everyone around her.

Camila swallows thickly, feeling the painful lump form deep in her throat. It's suffocating suddenly - the silence. She hates it more than the negativity stirring inside of her.

Say something. Anyone.

It isn't until Ally asks who she's dropping off first that prompts noise. Camila releases a long breath she didn't realize she was holding in. Instead, she focuses on the wavering timber of Ally's low voice. It's shaky as she suggests a sleepover.

Judging from the lack of response, Camila figures it's one of the last things anyone wants. But the more the idea hangs in the air, the more Camila understands that anything is better than going home alone. And she probably isn't the only one to feel that way.