Dance to This [kth]

t h i r t e e n

ミ★
thirteen
❝alienated instances❞
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My worrisome mind is rambling at me while I walk through campus; she tells me to be calm, and to not be too worried about instances that are out of my control. I'm afraid that I have been giving her too much say these past few weeks, because I'm overwhelming myself with thoughts even as I am alone just walking around. Around me, multicolored leaves fall from trees in soft gusts of wind, and my shoes rustle through them; I am walking down the winding pathways of Loomis, trying to spot any familiar face that I can. I haven't seen much of anyone all week.

Things have not felt right at Loomis since my date with Professor. My dorm-room, which had never been much of comfort anyway, is now a poignant reminder of the odd occurrence that happened on Sunday night with Hana. I assumed she would talk to me, and that I could help her with what went on, but I should've known that I'd be left in the dark. She was asleep when I went to my 8am class, and then gone when I returned to the room after lunch. I haven't seen her since.

Jungkook missed two days of class this week. When I tried to text him, my messages went unanswered. I called him the first time that he missed class, but didn't try him again due to his blatant vanished behavior. Similarly, Jimin did not show up for our English class either. He at least blamed it on taking extra shifts at the diner. To say I am worried and confused is an understatement; it feels as though the only people in my life are purposely trying to avoid me.

Did I do something wrong? 

As for Professor Kim, just thinking about our time together sparks excitement within me; I'm not sure if my anxiousness has now become pure excitement, but I no longer feel a pang of guilt when I see him. I'm trying not to feel nervous constantly when I imagine seeing him privately again.

Campus is flooded with students this evening; a small pumpkin patch festival is happening in the center lawn of Loomis, and stacks of hay and garden fences are set up for mazes and themed pumpkin and apple picking games. It's no longer possible to wear just a tank top outside: Fall is officially here. My eyes are glazing over the crowd in hopes of spotting just one person whom I have been looking for all week, but much to my demise I am not successful.

The sight of many other members of the faculty has made me hopeful that I can redeem myself for how nervous I usually act around Professor. My hopeful eyes continue to scan the premises; however, I have yet to see his hard to miss demeanor.

"Funny running into you here," a voice startles my search. I turn and it's Namjoon. I suppose it is a relief to know that at least one person is not totally off my radar. I haven't seen him all week either.