DEREK'S MATCH (DEREK #1) SAMPLE, NOW PUBLISHED

10. no smug comments

I stare at the TV as 10 Things I Hate About You plays. How fitting. I bet I could find 10 things I hate about Derek Collins. I could probably find more.

I hate how smug he is.

I hate how over-confident he is.

I hate how handsome he is.

I hate how self-absorbed and entitled he is.

I hate that he got me to go on a with him date last night.

I hate that he held my hand and I liked it.

I hate that he made me feel tingles in my stomach last night when he told me how sexy I looked while we danced.

I hate that he's made me look like a fool on the Internet.

I hate that I love his car.

I hate that he calls me Gin.

God. I know exactly how Kat Stratford felt when she recited that poem especially how she ended it because I know that I don't actually hate Derek Collins and I hate that.

I hate that I don't hate Derek Collins.

I dislike him but I don't hate him. I also know that the blame isn't all on him. It's also on me. I knew better than to go out with him. I knew better yet I still got all dressed up because I wanted to look good for him. I'm an idiot.

Last night, I took an Uber home. Thank God I had my phone and key or else I don't know what I would have done. This morning, I wake up to people talking about it all over social media.

Derek Collins is seen dancing with four women after being spotted with the girl he was matched with through the MATCH ME app.

The headline keeps replaying in my head like a broken record. I feel so embarrassed. Most people know who I am, thanks to Instagram. I had to log off because I was getting all these messages and mentions. It's my own fault for having my profile public. But none of this would have happened if I would have stuck with my decision to not go out with him.

God. I can't wait for this to pass so I can be forgotten again.

The screen of my phone lightens up as another call from Kim comes in. She probably just wants to check up on me but I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. I just want to sit on my couch and watch 10 Things I Hate About You.

Unfortunately for me, I can't stop thinking about what happened. Why am I so angry? I'm not his girlfriend. I was just his date. That's the thing, though. I was his date and he didn't respect that. He forgot all about me the moment I left him alone for five minutes. I don't even know how he wanted me to be his fake girlfriend when he can't even act right on a date.

The worst part about all of this is that the reason I'm so disappointed and angry is because, for a moment last night, I actually thought that something could happen between us.

It must have been the alcohol or the adrenaline of being in a nightclub. Or how good his hand felt when he grabbed mine or how good he made me feel when he told me I looked sexy.

Oh my God. I can't believe I have a crush on Derek Collins.

The thought makes me reach for more chips as I continue to watch the movie. I look at the time on my phone. It's past noon and I work at four. Today might just be the first day that I call out. Wait. No, I can't do that. I'm behind on rent. I need the money.

I consider calling my sister, Natalie. She would be the only person I would want to talk to right now. The problem is that she doesn't know what's been going on here. I'd have to start from the beginning. I wish I would have told her about what's been happening.