Simon's P.O.V.
Ever since the Sidemen had formed, Josh had been the only actual adult of us. He was the only one who understood how to function in the world, he had lived on his own before and knew how to... you know, pay the bills and keep everything running. He taught Vikk and JJ and I how to do those things but given we lived in the same house, we didn't need to know much.
We were about a year into living in the second house when I noticed he was acting a little differently- sleeping longer, avoiding us, seeming to never eat. I was confused and worried but Tobi said he talked to him, team 11 years, and Josh had said nothing was wrong. Something told me it wasn't alright though.
I spoke to Vikk about it, needing to get it off my chest. He always gave good advice and had a pretty good common sense filter so I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to tell him, he could give me an idea about what to say to him, hell, even how to talk to him. He was sitting on the end of his bed when I knocked on his door.
"What's up Simon?" He asked, kicking his feet up.
"I need to talk to you." I sighed, rubbing my face. "It's about Josh, something's up with him."
"Oh, you've noticed have you?" He said nonchalantly, leaning back. "He's burnt out. Are you planning on talking to him?"
"Yeah... I just wanted some advice. I don't know what to do, how to start the conversation and I just... yeah I don't know." I sighed again, flopping down on his bed. "And how did you know about him being burnt out?"
"It's obvious, he barely hangs out with us, he hardly records. I know how it feels to be burnt out and he's acting like it." He shrugged. "And why do you need my advice?"
"Because you know things that I don't. You're better at this sort of thing than I am." Vikk only smiled.
"Just go and talk to him. You're one of his closest friends Simon, if he'll talk to anyone it'd be you or maybe Tobi, but from what I've heard Tobi didn't manage to get him to spill the beans." I nodded in confirmation. "So I don't know why you're coming to me. Just go do it."
"Are- are you sure?" I stuttered, my heart pounding.
"Yes! Go and help Josh you derp!" Vikk laughed, slapping my shoulder playfully. "Go!"
----------------------------------------------------
It took me another day to gather up the courage to go and talk to Josh, and even in those 24 hours I noticed several things I hadn't before. He barely left his room but when he did he was mopey, he kept his hood up and he hardly ate anything, he avoided Vikk and I like the plaque (JJ wasn't home) and most concerning, he didn't speak a single word.
In the evening the day after I had my little pep talk with Vikk I knocked gently on Josh's door, waiting for a reply. He mumbled something and I pushed the door open.
"Hey Josh." I whispered, coming to sit on the end of his bed where he was lying. He barely looked up. "What's up? I know something's wrong, you've barely left your room all week."
He only sighed and buried his head deeper into his pillow.
"Come on Josh, you can tell me. Something's bugging you."
"I'm just burnt out Si, I need some time to recover." He mumbled, closing his eyes. I wasn't satisfied with that explanation, there was something more.
"And what else?" I said, looking him dead in the eyes. "I know you Josh, there's more."
There were a few seconds of pause before Josh moved his head back to look at me.
"I'm just..." And then he completely broke down. "I'm sick of being the adult! I don't want to keep being the one everyone turns to when they don't know what to do! It's completely burning me out!"
He began sobbing and my brain went into panic mode, too scared to know what to do and honestly I wasn't really comprehending what was going on. My first reaction was to reach over and hug him tightly, letting him bury himself deep in my chest and it was only then I knew what he had wanted, and needed- he needed some time with someone who could be the adult, he needed a break from taking on all the responsibility. That person was me. JJ wasn't here and Vikk was already stressed from his video schedule so right then, my job was to look after Josh.
"Josh..." I whispered, grabbing his attention. He blinked, tears still falling. "Right now, if all you need is someone to be the adult so you can take a break, then I can be that person."
He looked up at me with wide eyes, looking so, so much younger than he was, before he finally nodded.
"Please?" He breathed, his arms moving to reach out for me. I wasn't quite sure what he wanted me to do, I was talking about talking over his responsibilities for a little while so he could take a break, but right then I realised he wanted something a little more. He was touch starved, especially since Freya had broken up with him almost two years ago. "Stay?"
"Of course I'll stay." I whispered back, my arms moving to wrap around his waist.
Josh quickly pushed himself closer to me and tucked himself into my chest, his head resting in the crook of my shoulder. It didn't take him long to relax either, his eyes flickering open and closed and I did the best I could to keep myself still until he finally drifted off to sleep.
I only sighed, beginning to run my fingers through his hair. God I felt bad for Josh, I understood exactly why he had burnt out after taking care of the group for so long, he probably felt responsibility for us because he was the oldest and most experienced. He just wanted some time to be... little.
-------------------------------------------------
Josh was subdued the next morning, quiet and very, very clingy. I was already awake when he finally stirred and when I tried to get up to grab some coffee or something, he grabbed at me. His fingers curled around my shirt, his grip like iron. I finally settled back down beside him, hoping to comfort him a little more.
He didn't speak either. I tried to prompt him into telling me what wrong but he only shook his head. I didn't push him any further, if he wanted to tell me then he would.
After an hour or so of him remaining tucked into my chest and I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to his forehead, earning a soft smile. All I did was tuck his hair back.
If he wanted to continue this, I really wouldn't mind.
