Soul Lines (Completed)

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty
Elle's POV

Finally, two hours after Nanna had returned inside, I forced myself to leave the veranda.

The forest had always offered me a form of peace that I'd never found anywhere else. A place where I was welcome to be myself, where I could put myself first for once. It was a place that wasn't supposed to scare me. My skin wasn't meant to pinch at the thought of walking under the canopy of trees. I wasn't meant to stand before the forest with ashen skin, clammy hands and a heart that had been knocked from my chest.

But I was.

I'd had nightmares and recollections of those fifteen minutes in the forest. I'd had terrors which I was sure had come to life, now stalking the forest, just waiting for me to brave my fears.

I reached for the rail, gripping it tightly. I wanted to go in, but holding myself back was the only thing that felt safe. I rocked forward, catching myself on the railing, then again, and twice more. The fourth time I rocked forward, I let go, following my feet as they dove into the forest.

I didn't watch where I was going. Too focused on my surroundings, I glanced around wildly, looking for signs that he was nearby. I talked to myself, muttering, to fill the silence as I trekked through the forest.

A feather-light touch tickled my neck, and I skimmed across the mud like ice for a heart-clenching moment before catching myself low-hanging branch. It was still too warm for snow to stick, but last night, the first snow of winter had fallen, turning Aucteraden into a thick, grimy marshland.

Mud squelched under my cherry blossom gumboots while my heart drummed and fire seared my veins. A winter haze had settled over the trees, painted over the earth; the golden blaze of autumn leaves was now gone, buried beneath the rotten decay of winter.

Without snow, to purify the lands in a blanket of white, the forest looked bare, a yearly reminder that we were not infallible.

I was looking over my shoulder to the right. What was that? I squinted up ahead, to the right again, to the left this time. Was that a noise?

I tripped, scrambling over a fallen log. As I tried to catch my breath, I scanned my surroundings, my lungs wheezing like a motor turning over. Images of what could happen flashed through my mind, and my heartbeat raced erratically.

I knew, in my head, that I was allowed to be in the forest, but I searched for the border watch as though they were following after me, getting ready to attack. I had never been so aware of my surrounding in the forest. I'd always trusted him to protect me.

What if he doesn't show up?

The thought looped through my mind until my blood filled with ice. What if he never came back? I could see myself searching the forest for hours, searching, the cold seeping under my skin until all I could do was give up.

My hand stung, a relieving distraction from my thoughts, and I rubbed the dots of drying blood with my thumb. This time, when I fell, I didn't have anything to catch, and the bones in my body rattled as I slammed into the dirt.

I groaned, glaring at the trees like an unseen force was messing with me.

My sanctuary was slowly slipping between my fingers.

It was colder than it should have been, and I knew, as I wrapped my jacket tighter around my body, the snow tonight would settle on the ground, the first proper snowfall of the season. The sun didn't provide enough warmth to challenge the winter chill as it trickled through the foilage, projecting the hatching patterns upon the forest floor.